


Heat

by synvamp



Category: One Piece
Genre: Adventure, Alcohol, Crack, Cranky bodyguard Zoro, Fluff, Gay Sex, Hot harem Sanji, Humour, M/M, Madness, Smoking, Smut, Swearing, graphic depictions of sex, hints of angst, tw: prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25201480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synvamp/pseuds/synvamp
Summary: Harem AU with a twist - Zoro thinks that being Harem Master for the Sultan is the cushiest job on the planet... until a gorgeous blonde strumpet appears to ruin all his fun.I was prompted to write a Harem AU for ZoSan. I don’t generally go for harem fics so I thought I might have a little fun with it!
Relationships: Minor NaRo only, Nami/Nico Robin, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 29
Kudos: 190





	1. Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to fringeperson for your help, support and the prompt which started it all! Love you :D  
> Thank you Natong for this gorgeous FANART I LOVE IT!  
> http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e145/nataliehorses/artwork/haremda-1.jpg?t=1295347197&hotlinkfix=1594465722501

\---xxx---

Zoro felt the sea breeze lift the edges of his open shirt and appreciated the cool air on his sun-drenched skin. The smell of jasmine wafted in the heat and the lush grass was so comfortable it was hard not to drift off completely. He was sitting in the Sultan’s garden, back against the wall and dozing in the sunshine. This had to be the ultimate job. No-one to annoy him and demand his time, he could just rest up while the money came rolling in. Soon he would have enough to leave and hit the seas again. It was only sheer chance that had bought him here. The island he was heading to originally was somewhere to the… left-ish? Lucky he hadn’t made it there or he’d probably be preserving some bounty head in salt instead of lounging in the desert sun.

The only things he had to worry about for the time being were the ladies – he could hear them splashing in the Oasis and giggling, so they were fine – and _Luffy_. The girls were very easy to handle, they were all here voluntarily so there was no need to fear escape. Occasionally there was one girl that proved more difficult than others, like Nami who was always getting Zoro in trouble… but the rubber kid was another thing entirely. His father the Sultan owned the Oasis, the palace, the harem… practically the entire town and he wanted his son to grow up to be a respectable hard-headed diplomat. Not really the kind of things that Luffy seemed to take interest in. From what the swordsman could see he was only interested in sea shanties and adventure. The Sultan kept sending the boy into the harem to ‘make a man out of him’ but somehow he ended up bugging Zoro for bounty hunter stories instead. One day it was going to get the swordsman in trouble, but the kid was so enthusiastic it was hard to say no to him.

The sound of Nami’s voice whispering caught his attention. She always shouted so the fact that she was making such an effort not to be heard almost made the swordsman curious. _Almost._ Instead of investigating, he shifted in the grass so that his tan would stay even. He could deal with anything that those crazy women could come up with when it happened. The Sultan didn’t mind Zoro sleeping, which was great. Nami dobbed him in early in his employment, but when the Sultan sent in thieves to try to catch him off guard, his performance had pretty much guaranteed that he’d be employed for as long as he would stick around.

It was only when the few scattered whispers became squeals of delight and horror that Zoro finally accepted that his nap was over and opened his eyes. There was a caravan coming in the main gates and the Sultan was waving, escorting some scantily dressed someone down from a camel. _Great. Another wife._ Hopefully it was just a concubine, there were so many egos to deal with already that it took most of Zoro’s short attention span just to ignore it. Hopefully, they would forget that he was here and just lead her in for the guided tour and leave him to his…

“ZORO!”

_Damn it._

He got up and ambled over to the gaudy caravan. It had to be a wife. No concubine would have an entourage like this just to bring them from the market. It was a weird concept, the idea of being a voluntary slave for a fixed period, but the girls seemed happy and he was well paid so he really didn’t care. Zoro sighed and went to the Sultan’s side. The Sultan was tall and dark, a serious man with a head for figures and a forgiving temperament. He also had a sense of humour, probably the only thing keeping him from banishing his son after the antics that the lad was (in)famous for.

“Ah, Zoro. Nice to know that you are never far,” the man beamed down at him then quickly switched to his business face. “I have a new concubine for you to take care of, this one is a little different. As you know, I tend to be generous with my ladies when foreign dignitaries come to visit, but apparently I had not accounted for all of their tastes. This should fix that,” he nodded as if confirming his own thoughts and grabbed the girl by the hand to present her to Zoro.

The swordsman took a look at the girl for the first time. _Different, how?_ He wondered, as his eyes travelled up long slender legs and arrived abruptly at gorgeous, pale and perfectly defined abs and pectoral muscles. _Oh shit._

_No way._

He thought he was safe here, no temptations. Just gorgeous half-naked women and sunshine. He thought he wouldn’t have to worry about men. They were just too difficult. He always ended up either wanting to kill them or fuck them…

He took a deep breath and lifted his head to see what exactly this new addition had to show off to the royalty that swanned through the palace from time to time. Soft blonde hair, bright blue eyes and sweet pink lips. But more… muscles that looked like they were chiselled out of stone and legs so long that he swore they went on forever. _No. No. No!_ This was his perfect hideaway from temptation! And this guy… Zoro could feel his body starting to ache already… He was _way too tempting._

“Zoro!” The Sultan barked, now displaying his ‘busy man about his business’ face, “This is Sanji, from now on he will be under your care. He will be housed in separate quarters for obvious reasons but he is free to spend the day with the ladies or as he pleases. Please show him the grounds. I have allocated guards for the rest of the afternoon so the girls will be fine without you.” The Sultan took one last look around as if to check that everything was as he had ordered, then he swept off inside, his blue silk robes billowing in the breeze.

Zoro stood, trying not to drool openly. The blonde was staring at the garden, giving the swordsman time to admire him a little longer. He certainly dressed like a concubine, most of his body was completely revealed. Zoro tried to look at this face but his eyes wouldn’t co-operate. They kept wandering down, further and further. Sanji’s pants were so low slung he could just see a tuft of gold peeking out from the waist band… _Fuuuuck._ Zoro tried to start a conversation but his mouth wouldn’t work. Stupid blonde strumpet! No-one had this effect on him. Why the hell did the hottest man on the planet have to end up in his personal slice of paradise?!

“Yo, bag-boy,” Sanji turned and stared right through Zoro and towards the Oasis over the swordsman’s shoulder. “Take my shit, muscle-head. I have some ladies to attend to.” Then he turned his perfect body and wiggled his firm ass away to where the ladies were squealing and trying to figure out if they wanted to reveal themselves more or hide in light of their new companion.

Zoro was going to grab the man and force him to come on the stupid tour of the palace but by the time he had realised he was trying to say something, Sanji was already rubbing sun tan lotion into Nami’s back. Well, fuck him then! He could find his own way around! And when he got lost – as of course he would – then he would only have himself to blame. The swordsman grabbed the bags and dragged them up to the suite that had been prepared. What the hell was in these things anyway? Lead weights!?

Zoro muttered and grumbled to himself as he hefted the bags up to the mezzanine floor. _Arrogant, rude, conceited_ … At least the anger helped with the uh… ‘symptoms’ he had been experiencing before Sanji opened that hot wet looking mouth. If he had behaved as well as he looked then Zoro would have been in trouble. As it was, he could manage the asshole.

He hoped.

\---xxx---


	2. Temptation

\---xxx---

Zoro lay in the grass and snoozed. The sound of Luffy babbling was quite soothing if he ignored the words. The boy’s excitement was never ending, anything and everything was a great mystery to be solved or a grand adventure to be had. So far this morning he had saved the kid from being stung by a hive of bees (in search of honey), being bitten by a deadly spider (it looked cool) and drowning in the Oasis in three inches of water (fishing, apparently).

Zoro was now taking a nap in the shade of a palm tree in order to get his strength back for what was guaranteed to be an afternoon of similar activities. He had managed to keep the blonde at the back of his mind. Aside from the tantalising glimpses of flesh that he couldn’t avoid – damn harem outfits! – he had kept his eyes and hands to himself. Sanji had made it easier on him. He’d been so busy fawning over the ladies that he’d barely registered the swordsman at all after their first meeting. What he was doing in a harem when he was obviously a womaniser was anyone’s guess. Did he even know what he was here for? Zoro sniggered as he thought of the sweaty, fat noblemen that came to visit. That would be quite a surprise to our refined lady-killer…

“What are you laughing at Zoro?” Luffy asked, pushing up Zoro’s eyelids and peering intently. Zoro came back to reality to find the kid an inch from his face.

“Damn it Luffy, what?”

“You were laughing! I want to know the joke!” Luffy enthused, pushing back his straw hat and waving his arms like mad.

“Well….ah…” How to explain…

“ZORO!”

_Saved._

“Uh, Luffy that’s your dad, we’d better go.” Zoro got up quickly and strode off leaving the puddle of disappointment behind him.

“But I wanna know…”

The Sultan was in good form today; he wore scarlet from head to toe and was beaming with joy. Zoro was a bit worried, there weren’t many things that got the Sultan this excited and most of them involved _effort._

“Zoro, glad to see you are always close!” Not that it mattered, the girls shrieked so loudly he could be in another country and still hear them. “Today I have a special mission for you, I’ve organised some guards to take care of the ladies…” _Here goes. Anything but…_ “and I want you to take Luffy to see someone.” The Sultan’s black eyes twinkled with mischief. He leaned down to speak in confidence, “I think I have an idea. But no more about it… Luffy! Good to see you, boy! I have someone that I want you to meet! Come along!” The Sultan waved them along towards the Palace, Luffy looking bemused and Zoro confused.

As they were dragged up the staircase, Zoro started to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. This was very close to… _No._ He breathed a sigh of relief; they were going in the opposite direction; in fact they were practically on the other side of the Palace.

The Sultan stopped outside an eerily familiar door and put one large hand on Zoro’s shoulder. “You stay here and keep an eye out for anyone. Let them have some privacy, ok?” He winked excessively and then took his son by the hand. Zoro finally cottoned on; the Sultan had some new girl to try on Luffy.

Every now and then he got some exotic woman from a far-flung island to see if she could kindle Luffy’s passion. So far nothing had worked. Not even the Amazon women… although the swordsman figured they had to be the closest.

“Son, I’m sorry that I didn’t realise before. Here is someone special that I’d like you to meet, he should be ready by now…” _He? No._ _There’s no way that they could be on the mezzanine whe.._ The Sultan rapped on the door once and then before Zoro had the chance to look away, the door was thrown open.

Framed, in perfect silhouette was the most gorgeous body Zoro had ever seen. Slowly, as gauze curtains floated away on the breeze, the figure stepped forwards into the light. His body was swathed with soft cloth that draped and clung to his every curve and line. His muscles were outlined in perfect symmetry, hell he might as well be _naked_ for all the thing left to the imagination. The blonde strode effortlessly forward, leaving steadily more layers of see-through fabric floating behind him. By the time he reached the door, only a few soft bolts around his waist remained and they were pretty much just strands woven together.

Zoro coughed and put his head down so quick he nearly cracked his chin on his chest.

_Shit. Why did I have to see that?!_

While Zoro was struggling to make his body obey him, the Sultan was giving Luffy a short speech about being careful and always having respect for people. Zoro could see the boy nodding profusely from the very corner of his eye. By the time the swordsman had regained his composure, the door had already been closed and he was standing alone on the landing outside Sanji’s room in a cloud of perfume and regret.

\---xxx---

Zoro stood on the landing and contemplated life, the universe and everything. On the one hand, he’d had the luck to glimpse Sanji in all his unearthly glory. On the other hand, now he had the image burned into his retinae for all posterity and every time he closed his eyes he got a hard-on.

Plus there was the added problem that he was now expected to stand outside this door and listen to his best friend get deflowered by the man – no, _the body_ – of his dreams. Great. The swordsman stood awkwardly for a few minutes then decided that there was no point being grumpy _and_ uncomfortable. He sat cross legged outside the door and rested his swords beside him, closed his eyes and tried to ignore the whoops of pleasure issuing from the room behind him.

What was Sanji even doing? No-one’s first time was that good! How had he managed to get Luffy going? Not that he wanted to know… but how?! Suddenly his mind was taken over by possibilities… Maybe Sanji had been trained from birth to give pleasure to men and had learnt all of the arts of seduction and titillation. Maybe he’d just thrown himself wantonly on the bed and begged Luffy to relieve his aching desires. Maybe he was just tickling the kid.

He could only hope.

The sound of giggling coming up the corridor was a welcome distraction, until he realised who it was. Nami strode around the corner, arm in arm with first-wife Robin. A trio of nervous looking guards bought up the rear. Robin always had an afternoon stroll, but this was the first time that Zoro had seen her with Nami. If the evil red-head got her claws into the most powerful woman in the Palace then there would be no end to the trouble she could cause. This day just kept getting better.

“Zoro-kun, I noticed my liege relieved you of your duties. Have you come to check on our new delight?” Robin’s eyes twinkled with mischief. The swordsman scrambled to his feet and tried not to scowl at the thought that he might actually care how Sanji was doing.

“I’m just minding Luffy, ok,” he grumbled. Nami took in the door and Zoro and Robin’s comments, then squealed. A dozen hands sprouted over her surprised face and clamped her mouth shut.

“Shhh… Nami-kun, we don’t wish to disturb them,” Robin whispered.

Nami nodded and was hastily released. “Thanks Robin… I just didn’t realise. Do you really think they’ll do it?!” She was practically crawling the walls with excitement.

“Only time will tell,” Robin produced a cryptic smile.

“But you can tell! Why don’t you just take a little look and tell us what is happening..?” Nami fluttered her eyelashes at the taller woman, who beamed down at her and swept off along the corridor. At least she had some sense then.

Zoro resigned himself to his fate and sat back down, the noises in the room had gotten steadily more raucous. Now it sounded like Luffy was riding a rampaging bull through a china shop. More mental images Zoro didn’t need. The swordsman concentrated on blocking out all noise behind him. As long as he had his back to the door and no-one could get in or out, it didn’t matter what Luffy and his damn strumpet got up to. He didn’t care.

_Damn it._

He focussed on the sounds of the birds in the garden, the sweet smell of jasmine and perfume hanging in the air…

“ZORO!!!”

_Luffy’s voice._

In a heartbeat Zoro was through the door, he drew his swords mid-air and landed ready and eager to shed blood. The sight that greeted him was not quite the masked assassins that he had been expecting.

A large ball of flesh and rubbery limbs was rolling around on the floor, knocking over 5th century vases and generally causing chaos. The swordsman didn’t know what to do. Were they fighting or was this the way that Luffy… No. That is so wrong. Zoro caught a fleeting glimpse of washboard abs and decided – belatedly – that the polite thing would be to turn away.

“Luffy!” he shouted, by way of acknowledgement and warning.

The mass of limbs careened in a different direction and Zoro was bowled over. His ass hit the floor and he was swept up in an assortment of body parts and hurled across the room. By the time they had finally stopped, Zoro had a face full of gauzy cloth. That must mean his head was in Sanji’s…

“Zoro! You came!” Luffy enthused. Not quite yet, but at this rate… Zoro shifted his weight and tried to get away from the heady scent of perfume mixed with Sanji’s crotch. His body was suddenly yanked away and he found himself on his feet with an eager boy grinning over at him. “Zoro! You have to see this! Sanji is amazing! He’s going to be my friend!!!”

“No, I told you I’m not.” Sanji grumbled and swept a few loose strands of gold from his eyes as he stood up and rearranged what could only be described as a loincloth made of purple haze.

“He’s going to take me to sea and cook for me! He’s a cook, Zoro and he can do this!” Luffy bent over, grabbed one of his own ankles, then stood up and hoisted his rubbery leg over his own shoulder. “Show him Sanji!!!”

The blonde had retreated to the window and was looking out over the gardens with longing. He smiled at the boy and then walked over to him slowly, deliberately raising one smooth gorgeous leg into the air and hoisting it impossibly high before resting it on Luffy’s other shoulder.

“Not my shoulder!” Luffy giggled, completely oblivious to Sanji’s sultry bedroom eyes, which were driving Zoro completely mad. “Isn’t he great!? He’s teaching me how to wrestle!!!”

Well at least that explained that. Sanji lowered his leg slowly and looked at Zoro properly for the first time. His clear blue eyes swept across the swordsman’s bare chest and lingered on his three swords.

“No, I’m not. It’s just hard to..” Sanji started, his words cut off when Luffy launched himself at the blonde again. Zoro side-stepped and they swept past him. Now that he wasn’t afraid to look, he was quite impressed with the blonde’s prowess. Not that he’d admit it. The guy was holding his own against Luffy… Despite the boy’s youth and innocence, he was one of the strongest people Zoro had ever met. And Sanji was half-naked and pinning the wriggling boy to the floor. It was making Zoro really horny in all the wrong ways. He turned to go back to his post outside,

“Zoro! You should stay! I want you and Sanji to be friends. Come and wrestle with us!”

_Oh no. No. That was not going to work._

“Uh, the Sultan said that I should…” he mumbled, backing towards the door.

“Come on Zoro…” Luffy gazed with wide innocent eyes, “He’s going to come with us to sea and cook for us and teach us to wrestle. It’ll be so cool!”

“I told you, I’m not!” Sanji snapped. Luffy ignored him.

“I… uh… wouldn’t want to hurt him. I have to take my work seriously.” Zoro avoided looking at either of them. Suddenly all he could see was the bare sole of a foot hovering millimetres from his nose. He stepped back - his job was to _protect_ the harem after all - and waited for Luffy to dismiss him.

Sanji took one step closer, his foot wriggling under Zoro’s chin and putting just enough pressure on his windpipe to make it hard to breathe.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” hissed the blonde.

“Yay! You’re going to wrestle after all!!!” Luffy clapped in delight.

“No I’m not!” the two angry men shouted in unison.

While Luffy was rolling on the floor laughing, Zoro took his chance to escape. He slammed the door shut behind him and slid slowly down in a crumpled heap, his body quivering with a hunger that burned like fire in the places where Sanji’s body had pressed against him.

\---xxx---


	3. Clouds

\---xxx---

Sunny day followed sunny day, the sweet scent of roses replaced the heady jasmine and the sun set later every night. The dying light of evening lit the Palace in rose, but during the day it blazed on the hilltop in bright white. The sand reflected the heat and made the air shimmer. In short, it was perfect weather to do nothing whilst wearing very little and the ladies were not going to miss it for the world. This afternoon they were swimming – again – which meant that Sanji had to be close by. He was never far when the ladies were in more than their usual state of undress.

Zoro wandered over to where the girls were sunbaking. Robin was being fanned by a dozen palm fronds, conveniently powered by hands sprouting from the ground at the foot of her sun bed. Nami was next to her, enjoying the breeze and bossing around the other girls like she ran the place. Already. Vivi was swimming, Perona was terrifying a new guard… Sanji was floating a foot off the ground, carrying a tray of ridiculously delicate teacups.

Zoro had been observing him since he discovered the cook’s hidden talents. Just keeping an eye out to try to get to know a bit more about the elusive man. Even though they had only exchanged half a dozen words, the blonde was playing on his mind. Those kicks! How the hell had a man with those talents ended up here? He spent most of his time fawning over the ladies, when he wasn’t attending to the Sultan and his never ending stream of guests. Sometimes he went to see Luffy; sometimes he just read a book. His personal habits were also noted: he smoked, he loved food and he always, always changed at least twice a day. Outfits for dinner, outfits for walking, outfits for swimming… It was just ridiculous.

The only reason he could even have so many clothes in one room was because every outfit would fit in Zoro’s closed palm. The swordsman sighed as he was besieged with mental images that were entirely unnecessary. _Damn it._

Sanji was currently in light blue satin pants and jewellery. Nothing else. His body was starting to get a sun-kissed glow but his face was still fair and his hair shone golden in the summer sun. It was so distracting! He looked so feminine in the soft fabric but Zoro had felt his strength. He had felt the willpower behind that elegant leg and he was intrigued. It made the blonde even more alluring. He wasn’t a delicate boy; he was a man with red-hot blood and a quick temper. Even if he was an asshole, that was pretty sexy.

The cook hovered like a bee gathering nectar, distributing the tea to as many girls as he could reach. He looked the complete opposite of violent. He had stars in his eyes and was practically foaming at the mouth. The girls didn’t mind him though; Nami in particular seemed to take very well to his fawning.

“Sanji,” Zoro said, hoping to distract the cook before he got caught up in the next elaborate display of devotion. The girls all stopped what they were doing and turned.

“Zoro-kun!” “It’s been so long since you came to talk to us!” “Rub my back, Zoro!” “Swordsman-san!” “Show me that move you used on the burglars!!!” “Come and talk to me!” Thirty scantily clad women all jumped up and ran at Zoro with terrifying determination.

The swordsman was frozen on the spot. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion… like he knew what was going to hit him but he was powerless to stop it. They slammed into him like a warm wave of destruction and hung off him in every direction.

_Damn it again._

He peered at Robin through the cloud of oestrogen begging her silently to intervene.

“Come on now girls, give swordsman-san some space,” she chuckled.

The barrier of soft flesh sighed collectively and parted. Zoro stepped back and belatedly waved defensive arms in the direction of the retreating mob.

“Sanji,” the swordsman repeated, “I need to have a word with you.”

The cook raised an eyebrow, put down his tray and addressed the girls, “Ladies, I must bid you adieu but I will be back soon.” He waved them a fond farewell, walking backwards and blowing kisses, then finally turned and strolled over to Zoro.

They had only gotten a few steps when Sanji broke the silence, “So you get bored peering through the bushes and decide to come and annoy me in person?”

Zoro stole a glance at the cook, an unreadable smile graced his lips.

“You know I’m paid to guard you, yeah?” The swordsman replied. _Sanji had noticed him looking. Shit_. Seems like he was getting careless from living soft. Might be time to move on…

The cook stopped walking and lit a cigarette, then looked up into the clear blue sky. Finally he returned his gaze to Zoro, who stared at him blankly.

“Ok, then. You want to talk? Then talk,” the blonde blew smoke rings and flicked his hair out of his eyes. Zoro noticed the strong line of his jaw and the fine lines of his bone structure. It helped to distract him from the whole perfect-half-naked-and-within-reach thing. One long-lashed blue eye was peering at him curiously. That was right, he was meant to be talking.

“Thanks for teaching Luffy to wrestle; not sure it’s what his father had in mind though,” Zoro grinned. It seemed Luffy was destined to be a virgin for a little bit longer after all.

Sanji scoffed and puffed in equal proportions. “I told you I wasn’t trying to teach him to wrestle, asshole. It’s just that Luffy seems a bit, well…”

Zoro stared at him and offered no assistance. This close he could smell exotic spice wafting from the cook’s soft blonde hair. He could see the shape of his legs under the flimsy pants and those cheeky curls of gold peeking out were making the blood rush from the swordsman’s head.

Sanji blew a frustrated stream of smoke in the air and finished his sentence, “…he’s just like a kid. He just thought I was wrestling with him,” the blonde sighed. Zoro laughed. So that was what had happened… _oh Luffy!_ “Shut up already!” Sanji snapped, “I’ll get him eventually, don’t you worry. His is gay, isn’t he?” Zoro shrugged, Luffy was Luffy. It was hard to put him in a category. Heck, he might be ace; maybe he could find a way to bring that possibility up…

The blonde waved a dismissive hand and continued, “Don’t worry, I’ll find out. And if he is gay, well… I always get my man.” He smiled seductively and ran one hand down his own rippling abs, hooking his finger into his waistband and pulling it even lower. Zoro tried to look away but he found his eyes had defected from the rest of his body. Sanji smirked.

“So, what did you really drag me out into the bushes on my own for, Harem Master? All the look-but-don’t-touch starting to wear you down or do you want me to show you why I don’t need your fucking protection?” Sanji took two steps forward and before Zoro could register it, the cook was leaning on his chest and looking deep into his eyes. He produced a breathy whisper that sent shivers down Zoro’s spine, “What’s your problem, Marimo?”

_Don’t react. Don’t grab him. Don’t knock his long legs out from under him and pin him to the ground._ Zoro took a calming breath and thought about returning to the sea with enough sake money for months.

_Stay out of trouble. Stay out of trouble. Stay out of trouble._

“Umm… just be careful,” the swordsman said. Sanji glared at him and he could feel the muscles in the blonde’s thigh twitch through the thin silk. No, that wasn’t it. What the hell was he trying to say? “The Sultan may be annoyed if he finds you fawning over his wives like that…” Zoro could feel his face slowly turning red as Sanji’s warmth suffused his body. His mind was telling him to move away, but his feet were rooted to the spot.

“What…” Sanji whispered, moving his body even closer and running one finger along the ridge of Zoro’s collarbone, “you don’t want anyone to do what you can’t, Mr. Compensation?”

“What?” Zoro blinked.

“Well it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Running a harem… Three swords... Missing something, perhaps?” Sanji raised one curly, knowing eyebrow.

_Missing something? What?_ Zoro took advantage of the distraction of being even more confused and stepped back, away from the intoxicating cloud of hormones and scent. Sanji was standing there grinning at him.

“Oh well,” the blonde laughed, “Don’t you worry about me. I can take care of myself… and don’t you forget it.” He flicked his cigarette over his shoulder and waved nonchalantly, then wiggled his perfect ass back in the direction of the ladies.

Zoro wasn’t sure what had just happened, but his body was telling him – very loudly – that he liked it.

\---xxx---

The warm air was stifling as Zoro performed yet another set of crunches and then raised his protesting body into a handstand to do push ups. The aching of his arms and stomach was reassuring and familiar, comforting like an old friend. The sensations usually helped him to clear his head but today there would be no rest for the wicked.

_Missing something?_

_Running a harem?_

_Three swords?_

_Mr. Compensation?!_

He wasn’t short; he was at least as tall as that smug bastard, so it wasn’t that. There were some people who seemed to think that a large sword indicated a deficiency in uhhh _other areas_ , but what did that have to do with being a Harem Master? Most men who ran harems didn’t even have a cock so it seemed a bit rich to g…

_Oh._

Zoro let his body down slowly and sighed heavily into the lawn.

Sanji thought he was a eunuch.

Pretty obvious really, when he thought about it. No wonder he had been so smug about Zoro’s lecture. If only the poor man knew… He certainly wouldn’t have been pressing himself up against the swordsman and running his damn chef’s fingers all over him. _Very dangerous._

He probably thought that he was upsetting Zoro. Far from it. Even though Sanji’s touch lingered in ways that were going to make it hard for the swordsman to sleep, Zoro had no issue with Sanji mauling him whenever he liked. He may not be allowed to fraternise with the concubines, but he also wasn’t allowed to hurt them. If Sanji put him in a position where he had no choice… well, what else could he do?

Zoro grinned. What would Sanji think if he knew the things that Zoro had planned for him? He’d probably run a mile. On reflection, it may not be so bad that Sanji had got the wrong idea. It meant that it was unlikely that the cook would try anything beyond groping him a little and trying to throw him off balance.

The swordsman was enjoying the lazy lifestyle at the Palace for the time being and he didn’t want to blow it. Certainly not for a fair-weather-fuck like Sanji. He was gorgeous but pretty shallow from what Zoro could observe. He must have his own agenda but his love of women and his foul mouth were written on his sleeve and they didn’t really spell relationship material.

_Wait. Relationship material?_ Zoro sighed. He really had been here too long. Zoro resolved to get laid as soon as possible. He had found it more difficult to keep his lust under control than he’d expected. He didn’t doubt his willpower but his body did seem to have a mind of its own whenever Sanji was around. The cook was so slender and toned and always right fucking there in his face! Chiselled perfection. Even with his iron will, there was a small danger that if Sanji tried to have his way with him, he wouldn’t resist at all. He was fine with this level but if Sanji got serious, he’d probably be in trouble.

Or he could just teach the baka-cook a lesson…

He was so arrogant and mouthy, he was just _begging_ for a fight. He might be strong but he couldn’t be that strong. Zoro smirked. He would love to see the cook’s face when he ground it into the dirt. It was also far too tempting to prove his manhood in a different way... a way that Sanji couldn’t deny. The blonde might even want it... Zoro had to be better looking than the men that Sanji would be ‘entertaining’ in the Palace... The way he fought and his wild eyes said he was the type of man who would only do what suited him. What would make him want to be a concubine!? He’d wondered about the girls in that way before but none of them were as headstrong as Sanji… as raw.

Maybe he just liked sex that much that making a living from it appealed to him. His eyes were always inviting, even when he was spitting with rage. His body was so flexible and toned that it would make a night with him a guaranteed ride of a lifetime. The way that Sanji’s eyes had burned when he said he would get Luffy no matter what… Zoro mopped up his nosebleed and marched out of the bushes, resolving to go and find the rubber boy and bash his idiot head.

\---xxx---

The next time Zoro saw the cook, he was making good on his oath; chatting up Luffy like his life depended on it. The girls were giggling and encouraging him as best they could. Pretty much all of them except Robin had been sent to Luffy’s room at one time or another to try their charms on him. So far he remained uncorrupted, wild and childish and completely free.

“You’re tickling me Sanji!” Luffy giggled and tackled the cook to the ground. They both proceeded to roll in the grass much to the delight of all the watching girls. Finally, after much shenanigans and goings on, Sanji ended up sitting on Luffy, legs spread. He earned himself a round of applause from the crowd for this achievement and rose to make a bow.

“Saaaaaannjiiiiiiii…” Luffy grumbled, “I’m hungry!!!”

“I’m not meant to cook for you Luffy, your father said that I was ruining your appetite,” Sanji smiled indulgently down at the boy. Luffy had a certain way with people, that was for sure. It was pretty much impossible not to love him.

“But Saaaanjjiiiii… your food is so much better!” Huge brown eyes completed the plea. Sanji sighed and called the guards over.

“Please bring a side of beef, oil, kitchen knives, trestles, table cloths, some bowls and a cutting board. Oh, and light the western outdoor barbeque.” He issued orders with ease and sighed as Robin came over laughing.

“I thought that you weren’t cooking for Luffy-sama anymore," she said. The cook fawned and apologised helplessly.

In a matter of minutes, Sanji was serving up razor thin slices of cooked meat and fresh garden salad. The swordsman retreated to one of his favourite afternoon resting spots and settled down to meditate for a few hours. He was surprised when he heard someone rustling through the grass only a few minutes later.

He opened one lazy eye and then blinked a few times. Nope, it was still Sanji. He was striding over determinedly holding a plate.

Sanji handed the plate to Zoro, his expression clouded.

“Here. I thought you might want something.”

Zoro was about to protest when his stomach growled loudly, goading him for skipping breakfast. The smell wafting up from the beef was incredible, some kind of spices Zoro had never come across before.

“Just take it,” Sanji grinned. He shoved the plate into Zoro’s hands and then stood over him expectantly.

“What?”

“Try it!” Sanji rolled his eyes.

The swordsman took a mouthful and grunted in appreciation. Sanji looked on horrified as the entire contents of his plate disappeared in a heartbeat.

“You’re as bad as Luffy!” he exclaimed.

“You want me to spit it out?” Zoro challenged. The cook glared at him but as he took Zoro’s empty plate his expression softened.

“I guess it is nice to see you enjoying something for a change. You’re a moody bastard, you know that?” Sanji looked down at him with a mixture of confidence and cheek. Zoro was temporarily overwhelmed by the urge to put the cook over his knee and punish him for being such a tease. Somehow he managed to get out a reasonable reply,

“There are things I enjoy.” Zoro stood up slowly, rolling lustful eyes over Sanji’s half naked body. For the minute he was wearing a see-through vest of blue and gold and red silk fisherman’s pants, slung low as always.

A smirk pulled at the corner of Sanji’s lips but he continued, “The ladies really like your company – Kami knows why – so you should come and see us more often,” The cook leaned forwards and brushed his lips gently over Zoro’s ear, “you must get lonely out here on your own. Don’t make me come and get you… There are so many things that I could do to you and nothing you could do to stop me…” Sanji’s hands explored his chest and his hot breath was on Zoro’s lips. “I see you watching me, Zoro… I’m a professional, you know. I know exactly what you want…” the cook whispered, he let one sharp fingernail trail down to Zoro’s waistband as he pressed his body against him.

_Hand-stay-stay-just-a-minute-longer-don’t-just-hold-it-one-more…_

Something inside Zoro broke. In one fluid motion, he pinned Sanji’s wrists behind his back and pulled him close, forcing him to look the swordsman in the eye.

“Stop,” he said, low and clear.

_Damn! He had almost gone!_ Zoro hurriedly dropped Sanji's wrists but the man didn’t move a muscle. He just stood, staring into Zoro’s eyes, so close that the swordsman could almost taste his lips.

Sanji leaned just a centimetre further forwards and his soft fringe brushed along Zoro’s cheek. His breath was warm on Zoro’s neck and he whispered a single word,

“ _Why?_ ”

Zoro blinked as the haze of Sanji’s hair, his touch and his near-naked flesh cleared. Sanji grinned. Then the blonde ran his fingers up Zoro’s chest and walked away; his touch still lingering long after his wicked smile had gone.

\---xxx---


	4. Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harem Master Zoro displays his Iron Will when Sanji does his best to get a rise out of the grumpy Marimo. Yes, that was a shocking pun. You may hurt me now XD

\---xxx---

The garden was filled with bees and birds. Hummingbirds floated, drinking the nectar of the many flowers. Brilliant parrots came for the water of the Oasis and the ripe, sweet figs that dripped from the trees. The rivers the birds relied on dried up in the baking summer sun, so just like the merchants who plied their trade along the coast, they came to where the air was sweet and flowers bloomed all year round.

Sanji loved the sun. It suited his skin, it made his hair practically luminescent and it brought out the best in everything, especially women. Plus it gave him an excuse to wear even less than usual. In the last few days he found it harder and harder to concentrate on his daily routines: gathering ingredients, tending to the ladies and entertaining the Sultan's guests. Despite the sun and the glorious surroundings he found his mind wandering to, of all the ridiculous topics, _Zoro_. He had felt the swordsman’s eyes on him. He knew why the bastard was looking, even if he denied it. Sanji was a professional, after all. Not that he'd had any luck with Luffy... a fact that Zoro loved to remind him of at every opportunity. 

The swordsman thought he was _so hot_ with his three swords and cool-as-shit attitude. He thought he could tell the cook who to talk to and what to do. He thought he could just sit back and Sanji would be a good little boy and play with everyone nice. _What an idiot._ He had no idea what was happening most of the time anyway, he was asleep! Sanji could even hear him snoring sometimes, so he wasn’t exactly stealthy. Even if he was strong… his movements were predictable. Plus, the way he froze up when Luffy asked him to join in their wrestling session was _priceless_. He had some issues, that was for sure. Maybe it was just the whole eunuch thing… if it was true.

His eyes lingered on the swordsman. Zoro was standing under a palm tree training - again. His muscles glistened with sweat as he punished his powerful body. Anyone else would wait until the heat of midday had passed but not Zoro.

He had become the cook’s favourite hobby. The girls were lovely but he couldn’t always be with them and teasing Zoro seemed to kill the time. He liked to do anything, _everything,_ which would raise the swordsman’s blood pressure. He wanted to show the idiot who was in charge here. Zoro might have his black scowl and three swords, but Sanji had sex appeal and it seemed to be working _just fine_. Marimo could train as much as he liked and he’d still be helpless in the end.

Sanji leaned against the cool stone in the shade, eyes still lingering on Zoro’s rippling stomach. He lit his spiced cigarette and smiled as the intoxicating smoke hit his lungs. It had been a fun week. He had touched the swordsman at every opportunity; just lingering fingers on his chest, his shoulders. He teased him, with caresses and breathy murmurs. He found himself somehow completely naked on at least one occasion, where Zoro was due for his mid-morning nap.

The cook would have gotten bored with it but Zoro just _would not_ react. Even when confronted with Sanji rolling in the grass wearing nothing but rose petals, he just turned away! RUDE. Then he threw his shirt to the cook over his shoulder, demanding in a husky voice that Sanji ‘cover the hell up’.

Despite the fact that he was _clearly_ rampantly horny, brutishly strong and probably had no genitals, he still didn’t bite. He just stood without moving and stared blankly at the blonde. Sanji couldn’t believe it. Any normal person would just snap. Shout, scream, fight or at least ravish him a _little bit_! It just wasn’t natural. Beyond the fact that he was horny, the cook knew nothing about Zoro at all. His dark eyes gave up nothing. Even his movements were a mix of martial arts and sword styles from many different islands. Luffy said that he was a famous bounty hunter. Luffy did say a hell of a lot of things, but Zoro certainly looked the part. The way he smiled when he drew his swords… it was intense. And Sanji liked it.

He was also _very hot_. His skin was bronzed, his ass was spectacular and he had muscles you could crack nuts on. He seemed so rough and potently sexual. The way his eyes lingered over every part of the cook’s body… Sanji had always been told that if you had your cock cut off then you’d get a high voice and not have a sex drive anymore. If that was true then he would have hated to see what Zoro was like before… he bit his lip and imagined the swordsman throwing him into the grass and tearing the scraps of silk from his needy body. Maybe when Marimo did finally snap, they could have some _real fun_. Sanji didn’t care what was happening below his belt, the man was _sizzling_.

The cook sighed, for a second he had almost tasted the fragrant dirt and felt Zoro's weight determinedly pressing into him. He had to be a eunuch. Surely he would have said something otherwise! Sanji certainly wouldn’t have kept silent if someone suggested he was lacking in that particular department. But this was _Zoro_. The man was a mystery.

The cook could still fantasise. And he could still run his fingers down Zoro’s tanned bare chest whenever he saw him.

Sanji pushed lazily off the wall and strolled across to where Zoro was towelling off his shoulders. He put a little swagger in his walk and made sure the swordsman saw him coming. Today, the blonde was once again in silk. A pale blue open shirt and soft draping darker blue pants. He picked them for the way they floated in the hot breeze and clung to the lines of his figure.

Zoro ignored him and started picking up his swords and strapping them to his body. “Zoro,” he said. The swordsman looked up as if he was thinking and then made to walk straight past him, back into the main garden. The cook raised one long leg and barred Zoro’s path. “I said _Zoro_ deaf-head.” He was met by two angry black eyes.

“ _What?_ ”

Sanji raised his leg up, over Zoro’s head and placed it back on the soft grass. “You can’t fake it forever, you know.”

“Oh yes I fucking can,” Zoro said slowly, looking straight ahead.

The cook grabbed Zoro’s shirt and pulled him closer. The swordsman turned and looked him in the eyes. Sanji slowly walked his fingers up Zoro’s chest and squeezed one tanned brown nipple. His other hand slid down Zoro’s back until it rested on his ass. Sanji pulled their bodies closer together and whispered into the swordsman’s ear, “You want to touch me, don’t you?”

“No,” Zoro lied, leaning just a little closer.

He could feel the power of Zoro’s body… his muscles were so tense where the cook pressed against him. It was like he was physically holding himself back. Why wouldn’t the bastard just admit he was defeated? He was so damn stubborn!

The cook brushed his lips against Zoro’s throat, tasting the salt on his skin. Then he grazed his teeth against the bronzed flesh before biting softly down Zoro’s neck to his collar bone. He could hear the swordsman’s breathing become more deep and regular.

He still wouldn’t give in.

“You want to fuck me, don’t you?” Sanji whispered, his hands sliding Zoro’s open shirt from his shoulders.

“Nope. I've got better things to do.” Zoro smirked right in Sanji’s face and raised a bored eyebrow at him. He was such a smug asshole! Zoro’s smirk just got wider and wider and suddenly Sanji had a new strategy. _Fuck it._ There were more ways than one to show him who’s boss.

“Shut up, shitty swordsman!”

Sanji lifted his knee up between them and kicked Zoro’s stomach, using the force of the kick he back flipped up into the air elegantly and landed on his feet. He tapped his toes into the grass and then wound up for a volley of kicks. Zoro looked baffled for a minute and then began to laugh. The asshole actually laughed!

One quick flip and the cook landed on his hands, wrists turning as his momentum carried him forward. Zoro jumped back, still grinning but Sanji was a little quicker. He flipped back onto his feet and pirouetted in a spinning kick, knocking the swordsman’s legs out from under him. Zoro rolled back onto his feet in an instant. He turned to face Sanji again, still without drawing his swords.

_Arrogant… stupid… pig headed…_ Sanji twisted his body into a long, low kick, waiting for the exact moment when Zoro would leap into the air. The swordsman stepped sideways then jumped to try to get behind Sanji mid spin, but the cook was already there. The swordsman deflected two strikes, missed the third and then took the full force of Sanji’s whirling kick. The sharp crack of bone on bone rang out and a shock wave rolled out across the lawn. Zoro grunted with the force of the hit and touched his fingers to his cheek. He traced the thin river of blood to his chin and his face lit up with a wicked grin.

Angry blue eyes met level black and for a second, Sanji’s heavy breathing was the only sound before he turned again for another strike. He went low, swinging his hips into the kick and then sailed into the air hitting Zoro in the chest and barrelling into him. They both hit the ground with a thump and then rolled a couple of times. When the dust finally settled, Sanji smirked down at the swordsman, “Not too shabby,” he said. “But is that all you got?”

“I’m just comfortable,” Zoro replied. He was wrapped up in Sanji’s legs and the cook’s ass was grinding into his hip. _Not too shabby at all._

“Pervert.” Sanji bit his lip as his eyes lingered on the swordsman’s chest. His cheeks were flushed and he was not making any move to get up.

Zoro kept perfectly still. As long as he didn’t do anything drastic then he wouldn’t get in trouble. He wasn’t about to stop Sanji though, his body was so lithe… It was just all creamy white skin and toned perfection. So strong and flexible that it was just _sinful._

The cook’s blue eyes hovered in front of Zoro’s face, the movement grinding their hips together. “You want me to teach you how to wrestle?” he whispered.

_Yes. Yes. Right now._

“No.”

“Why not, still afraid you’d hurt me?” the cook scoffed.

Zoro could smell his sweat from the fight. He was still breathing fast himself, even though he had only been passively defending. The smell of smoke and testosterone was making the blood rush in his ears. _This_ was the type of temptation he could never resist... Sanji was strong. Surely _one_ hit wouldn’t hurt?

The swordsman tensed his legs and twisted skywards. He shed Sanji like a second skin and then drew one sword: Wadou. He swung the silver arc high and brought it down as he rushed forward. A foot knocked his wrist out and he turned with the blow, using his momentum for a sweeping back-handed strike. Rock hard shins met the force of the blade and deflected it, striking back. The swordsman dodged and another foot was inches from his face and then suddenly it was just metal on bone. He reacted without thinking, twisting and striking. The ache of his muscles, the smell of sweat, the feeling of the force erupting between them… It made him so fucking hard that he ached.

Zoro knocked Sanji to the ground and felt his toned body wriggling to escape. He pinned Sanji to the grass and let his weight rest on the blonde’s lithe frame.

He didn’t mean to say it, it just _slipped out_. In between the fighting, the force and the bare skin he just lost a little bit of focus.

“Still think I’m compensating?” the swordsman growled.

Sanji’s eyes widened. He wriggled just a little more and confirmed the solid erection pressing into his thigh. Not a eunuch. _So. Not. A. Eunuch._ Sanji's insides ached as he felt the solid weight.

The cook’s angry face finally melted into a grin. “Let’s find out,” he said.

Before Zoro knew it, he was on his back and his face was buried in sun kissed blonde hair. Hot wet lips trailed down his chest and a delicate tongue flicked his nipple. Sanji bucked his hips and ground them into Zoro’s crotch. The swordsman moaned and grabbed a fistful of gold as the blonde head sunk further down. Skilled hands skirted across his stomach and hot kisses followed. Somehow his pants got undone, although he swore that Sanji’s hands were on his chest the whole time. He lifted his frame onto his elbows to watch and moaned as a hand closed on his erection. Sanji’s kisses became more fevered and he loosed the fabric from around Zoro’s hips. The swordsman tilted the cook’s chin up, “You think we should move, maybe?”

The cook’s lips hovered… he was about one inch away from making sure Zoro didn’t care where they were. Sanji knew he was skilled; it should only take a minute… He didn’t want to miss the chance now that Zoro had finally given in. Yes, they were out in the middle of the garden but they weren’t in plain view of anyone. Anyway, it was a big garden.

Zoro took a deep breath as Sanji swallowed him deep. His mouth was so hot and his lips drawn tight against sensitive skin…

The sound of squealing cut through the hazy air. The squeals turned to indignant shrieks and Zoro let his head drop back into the grass. The lips which had been so expertly relieving him of all his sexual tension were gone, and the only thing he had to show for it was a raging erection which was now on display for the whole world to see.

Zoro did up his pants and then followed the Sanji shaped blur and the sound of girls screaming.

\---xxx---

“Come on now Brooke, I told you. No pants,” Zoro lectured. The musician was at it again. The swordsman had lost count of the number of girls he had terrified with his attentions. The ladies were all currently crowding behind Zoro looking timid and occasionally pointing at Brooke demanding that he be killed, buried, or generally gotten rid of.

“But I just want to see one pair of dainty little…”

“I’LL SHOW YOU THE PANTIES OF ANGELS YOU PERVERT!!!” Nami shouted as she waved her Clima Tact and storm clouds began to gather directly above the over-keen skeleton. Ok, so not all of them were timid. Lucky Perona wasn't here really...

Sanji hovered around the ladies trying to placate them, his expression jumping wildly between outrage and comfort. He hadn't even stopped to put his shirt back on. Damn it, why did he have to be so hot?

Zoro sighed and hoped that Robin was somewhere nearby. “Brooke,” he said, waving his hands in front of the man’s bony skull. “You need to get another hobby.”

It was no use. He had spotted two of the girls stripping off as they headed through the trees to the pool. The static electricity was building in the air and Zoro stepped back from the fence and away from the menacing storm cloud. Brooke’s afro began to frizz up, nearly doubling in size. When the ladies were out of view he finally snapped out of it… starting and looking up at the black cloud.

“THUNDERBOLT…”

“See you later then!” Brooke squeaked, “Though I’m a skeleton so I don’t have any eeeeeeeeyyyeeeee..!”

“TEMPO!!!”

A massive bolt of lightning cleaved the air and hit the sand with a deafening crack. Brooke scuttled across the square and ducked into an alley.

_Lucky._

If he wasn’t dead already, Zoro would certainly have had to kill him.

\---xxx---


	5. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update! I took pity and decided not to leave you hanging… this time ;)
> 
> Warning - SMUT all the smut.

\---xxx---

The Sultan’s reception hall was lavish and large. Made from white marble, arched open windows let the light and scented air in from the gardens and made the walls shine. The Sultan sat, enthroned in green, a long satin robe falling from his broad shoulders and a golden turban on his dark brow. Said brow was furrowed with thought and his normally impassive face was covered in an expression that screamed trouble. No rest for the wicked, it seemed.

Zoro stood at the Sultan’s right, enjoying the slight breeze tugging at his open dark blue shirt. Why the swordsman was here, at the unearthly hour of ten in the morning watching a blue and purple butterfly drift slowly across an empty room large enough for a full court was too much for him to understand. Whatever it was, it obviously required privacy, which usually meant that the topic was going to be a certain dark-headed imp. Zoro briefly considered jumping out one of the lofty arches, but he was not a man to be defeated by anything, even uncomfortable conversations about Luffy’s virginity... Surely it couldn’t be any worse than what he had endured already?

“You called for me, Sultan.”

“Indeed I did and I appreciate your prompt attendance. Now I don’t wish to alarm you so I am simply going to make my request which you are free to accept or decline no strings attached.”

Alarm? You’ve got to be kidding.

The Sultan’s dark serious eyes fixed on Zoro, seeming to make some calculation. Zoro tried not to sigh audibly. Instead, he nodded at the Sultan, who continued to speak, “Zoro, I’ve noticed that Luffy seems to like you quite a lot. You don’t think perhaps that you could…?”

He could see where this one was going all too soon. 

“No.”

“I mean that he might like to…” the Sultan continued.

“No.”

“Given that he doesn’t seem to like…” the Sultan persisted.

“No.”

“Oh,” the Sultan sighed. “What do you think he wants, Zoro?” The man’s eyes focussed on the horizon, hiding the worry clear on his ‘questions about an uncertain future’ face. For a man like him to ask the advice of someone like Zoro, he must be worried. The swordsman wished he had something constructive to say.

“To be a kid for a little longer.” Why had he said that? This guy’s whole empire rested on Luffy’s shoulders. Now the swordsman would be fired for sure. _Idiot._

The clear black eyes turned back on Zoro, taking in everything. His creased face – lined from years in the desert – crinkled into a smile. “Yes, I suppose you are right. He never did like the trappings of State much. Maybe if we just found him the right girl though…”

Now it was Zoro’s turn to sigh. Looked like he was going to be accomplice to this crazy match-making for some time to come. Didn’t help that Luffy could have what he wanted so desperately. To think that he had been alone with Sanji dressed _like that_ and he hadn’t done anything! The kid HAD to be ace, surely!? But apart from obviously being dead from the waist down he did seem to have the right ideas. Maybe he should ask Luffy what to do about Sanji…

Zoro remembered the wrestling incident and smirked. Then again, maybe not.

\---xxx---

Sanji sighed and blew a few scattered strands of gold from his eyes. His whole body was sticky with sweat and his left buttock was going numb. The heavy man above him grunted and shifted his weight giving the bored cook a much needed chance to shift his ass. Mr. Bunton (or was it Bonton? He hadn’t taken much time to introduce himself…) took his moving as a sign of enthusiasm and squashed wet kissing lips up to Sanji’s own. The cook reciprocated the gesture and tried not to shudder as the hairy businessman drooled into his mouth. Who the hell would want this shitty job!? His face was wet with slobber, his ass was tingling where the blood was finally starting to circulate again and he had counted every stitch on the canopy above his head at least twenty times. If it wasn’t for her there would be no way that he would do this shit but as it was… he just had to lie there and take it.

Not that there was much to take.

This guy, for example, he wasn’t exactly well hung. Like most of them, he wasn’t too inventive either. Sanji preferred it this way. He didn’t have to perform like some kind of organ grinder’s monkey. He could just lie back and close his eyes and pretend that he was somewhere else, with someone else and that his room didn’t smell like a middle aged accountant’s armpit. What would Zoro think if he could see him here, legs in the air and eyes bored and unfocussed? All his dignity gone and all his power suppressed to the point where it was almost painful. He would probably laugh. He exuded a calm kind of arrogance that made Sanji’s blood boil even when he was asleep; his attitude to this kind of thing would have to be pure smug git.

Mr. Bunton grunted, drooled some more and began to grind away at a more fevered pace. Sanji put his incredible leg muscles to good use to try to speed the guy up. He didn’t have to entertain all day so once this lump had blown his load the cook was free to spend his time with the ladies again. And Zoro. Sanji’s thoughts wandered to the idiot Marimo’s body. He did have such a strong body… He wouldn’t rut away like a rusty plough, that was for sure. Zoro would be the type to take control from the start. He’d want to see every little emotion that flicked across your face when he took that first breathless push into bliss. His hands would be warm and firm, pulling you in and holding you down just where he wanted you, every sensation would be calculated, every forceful move designed to elicit the most delicious agony… Suddenly Mr. Bunton’s rutting wasn’t feeling so bad. Sanji smiled into his messy fringe and moved his position for maximum friction. Zoro would know, he’d know just where to thrust when Sanji whimpered, he’d hear the noises that the cook tried to suppress and draw them out with every touch. He would be big too… Hard and angry and forceful…

Mr. Bunton grunted loudly and collapsed on Sanji, crushing his lungs with the full weight of twenty years eating banquets and sitting down. Sanji stifled a groan of annoyance; he was just starting to enjoy himself! Maybe a few more minutes and a bit more wiggling and he might even have managed an orgasm… _Maybe_. The cook wiped the sweat from his eyes and stared at the canopy and the heaving shoulder in front of his face. Finally, Mr. Bunton rolled off him and grabbed a handful of Sanji’s silk bedding, shoving it between the cook’s legs before turning away to get dressed.

“To your liking then, Mr. Bunton?” Sanji smirked. If he was going to do this shitty job at least he could do it well.

“Hmmm?” the man turned and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, yes. You have a tight little ass; next time we’ll find out if your mouth is as tight. A face full of come would suit you!” He laughed out loud and turned around to do up his shoe laces. Sanji crossed his legs and counted to ten. Then to twenty. Then he reminded himself he didn’t have to do this very often and most of them were much nicer.

_Nope, still want to kill him._

The suppressed rage burned roses in his cheeks as he sat in the silence and mopped himself up after the man had left. _Asshole!_ If he only knew what Sanji could do to him with one fucking toe, he’d be more careful when he opened his big mouth. _Asshole. Asshole. Asshole._

All for her. He just had to remember it was all for her, to get her money, to save her family… he would do anything. Even fuck that stupid ASSHOLE.

He washed carefully and then left his room, leaving the windows open to blow away the last traces of that horrible smell. He could still feel the heat in his cheeks as he walked down to the rose garden. Thank Kami no-one could see him like this: used up and thrown away. Sanji the human tissue.

\---xxx---

Zoro watched the cook come down the stairs, his face was flushed and he looked even more angry than usual. Not a good time for a chat by the look of it. He saw some smug asshole leave the cook’s room ten minutes before. Zoro had no idea why but he had the distinct urge to just take the guy’s head clean off. He had contented himself with staring daggers at the man so hard that he had practically ran off screaming. He might get in trouble later but it was worth it. The guy was clearly a bastard.

Sanji looked so angry… embarrassed. What had the guy done to him? Zoro felt his own cheeks colour as a few select images flashed in front of his eyes. If he had done anything to hurt the cook… what the hell was he thinking? He couldn’t go to Sanji’s rescue! Even if he did want to – which he didn’t – the blonde would get all shitty and scream at him. He was so cocky and sure that he could take care of himself… but he looked so upset. Something had obviously happened.

Zoro hovered at the foot of the stairs trying to figure out if he should follow the cook and ask him what had happened or if he should check the blonde’s sheets for blood. If that ape had spilt a single drop then he would kill him before his ass hit the ground.

He took a deep breath.

_Stop it._

Sanji could take care of himself. He was tough and annoying as hell. Brooke had saved the swordsman from getting fired last time, but he couldn’t rely on being so lucky in future. If he was alone with Sanji he knew he would give in. A lover that looked like that was one thing, but someone who could fight too? Once the cook started sparring with him, it was pretty much all over. Now his body reacted to Sanji in a very embarrassing and quite public way. Zoro didn’t need to be beaten off the grounds by thirty angry women staring accusingly at his erection. Plus, Sanji didn’t need Zoro to do anything. In fact, he’d screamed at him for even trying and Zoro knew he was much better off to just keep his head down and stay out of it.

At least, that was the plan.

In practice, he ended up standing around in the cook’s ridiculously pink room three days later quizzing Sanji on his sex life. It had started with the swordsman escorting one of Sanji’s ‘guests’ from his room. How it ended up like this was a mystery.

“So you really like sex then?” Zoro raised one sceptical eyebrow as Sanji gaped in disbelief. Probably could have worded that a little differently, but the stupid cook would be offended no matter what.

Sanji lay in the dishevelled sheets, his eyes blazing behind long lashes as he stared the swordsman down. He was wrapped in bolts of gold cloth and fiercely sexy. Zoro could see half his body and had no trouble imagining all the rest.

“What sort of a question is that, pervert?! That your idea of foreplay? Go ahead. I do it with less all the time.”

Zoro blinked at the rage behind his words, this wasn’t the normal ‘I’m just going to argue cause I’m a mouthy fucker’ glare… Suddenly, it clicked. He _hated_ it. He hated what he was doing… Being a whore. No wonder he was so angry. That front that he put up – so proud and cocky – was probably the only thing keeping him together. What was the idiot doing to himself?

The cook sat on the edge of the bed and lit a cigarette, standing and walking to the window that overlooked the lush gardens. He had low-slung flimsy pants on and his chest was bare. Zoro watched the muscles on his back move with hunger.

“I mean… you like… your work?” Zoro cringed.

Sanji slowly turned around, examining the swordsman’s expression. Finally, he returned and sat down, blowing smoke rings into the canopy of his huge bed.

“Not really. There are worse things though…” Sanji flashed that cocky smile, hiding pain and anger.

“What would you do if you could do anything?” Zoro asked softly. He had to have a dream…

Blue eyes stared the swordsman down, pure determination.

“Find All Blue.”

“All blue?” Zoro scoffed, wasn’t that just a myth? He blinked at the foot that was suddenly inches from his face.

“Don’t you dare laugh,” Sanji fixed him with cold eyes.

“I’m not laughing,” Zoro deadpanned, he knew better than to mock another man’s dreams. “It was just a surprise. Why?”

Sanji’s foot didn’t move but his expression softened a little, “I want to cook every fish there is. Find the best, the most succulent… and I _will do it_ ,” the one visible blue eye blazed.

Zoro nodded. He respected the determination he saw in that level gaze, even if it did seem like a lot of effort to go to just to cook some weird fish…

“What about you, asshole? You got some amazing plan or you just going to grow old watching the rest of the world get laid?” The cook broke into a smile as he said the last few words. He put his foot down slowly and leaned on swordsman’s chest. The warm weight of his body was so enticing…

Zoro opened his mouth and then closed it. None of the words swirling in his brain sounded like a good idea. He settled for glaring.

Sanji cocked his head to one side and narrowed his eyes: yet another random Sanji expression that the swordsman couldn’t make any sense of.

“Come on meat-head, I bare my soul and you just smirk? Spit it out or I’ll knock it out of you.” The clear blue eyes looked more amused than angry, but this way Mr. Unpredictable after all. He had already gone from angry to flirting twice and now he was back on the bed where he started.

“I’m going to be the best swordsman in the world.”

“Not too ambitious then,” Sanji laughed.

“Shut up!” _Tell me not to laugh and then laugh in my face. Typical!_

“I only stop talking when my mouth is full.” Sanji grinned and rolled over on his bed, fisting pink satin sheets and winking at Zoro suggestively.

“I’m not surprised,” Zoro replied.

“Hey asshole if you don’t like it then you can always fuck off,” Sanji grinned and gestured at the door, “…or you can help me have a shower. I’m really dirty,” he stretched and layers of muscles rippled just beneath the skin. The thin fabric clung to him revealing everything.

_Yes, yes you are._

“I think that the Sultan needed me…”

Sanji grinned knowingly and raised one eyebrow. “Always running away swordsman, what are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything shit-cook!” Zoro raged, realising too late that he had just taken the bait.

“Well get a towel then, cause you’re about to find out why you should be.” Sanji threw off half his gauze halo of gold and strode off, powerful legs leading the way.

While Zoro’s mind was trying to figure out if any of this was a good idea, his body walked into the bathroom.

Sanji was waiting for him, the bolts of bright gold in his hand. He dropped the flimsy material to the floor and winked at the swordsman. He drew long delicate fingers across his stomach raking nails on white skin and leaving pale pink marks on the pristine surface. Sanji’s eyes closed as his fingers reached his nipple and he smiled, licking his lips.

“Come here, Marimo.”

Zoro strode across the room and stared, level into Sanji’s perfect blue eyes. The cook’s arms encircled his waist and began to remove his swords. Zoro put a steady hand over Sanji’s own,

“No, I’ll take them off.”

The cook moved his hands away from the sword belt and rested them on the swordsman’s chest. Zoro put his hands behind his back to remove his swords and the cook leaned in close, his body was warm against Zoro’s bare skin. The swordsman leaned into the heat of the body so close and the tickle of Sanji’s hair on his throat. He knelt for just a second to place his precious swords out of the way and then his hands were at Sanji’s drawstring pants. The cook sunk slowly to his knees, the silk strings slipping from Zoro’s grasp.

The swordsman sighed in frustration, his huff becoming a moan as Sanji’s wet lips pressed on his nipple and an expert tongue flicked across the sensitive skin. He tousled Sanji’s perfect gold hair and felt the blonde’s hands slipping the fabric from his shoulders. Zoro’s open shirt fluttered to the ground and blunt nails scraped across his stomach. The wet lips followed closely and Sanji’s hands went to Zoro’s belt. The cook’s arms brushed against the swordsman’s erection and he felt a rush of hormones, Sanji’s smell was all around him and his wet lips were hotter by the second.

The cook’s hands grasped Zoro’s hips and eased his trousers over them and onto the ground. He took the swordsman’s underpants with them and left him standing, proud and naked. Sanji slid one hand up Zoro’s thigh and used the other to position Zoro’s aching erection just perfectly. For a second Sanji’s lips brushed through Zoro’s mossy pubic hair and then they were smothering wet kisses up Zoro’s cock. He felt the blood rushing down as he swelled in the cook’s mouth. He was so hot and perfectly tight. Zoro could feel himself being swallowed deep, as Sanji’s golden head bobbed. The sweet lips slid effortlessly up his shaft, varying the pressure to a tight squeeze at the end of every long stroke. His tongue flicked from between pink lips to swirl around Zoro’s tip before he was greedily swallowed again. Now this was worth paying for…

Zoro’s brow crinkled at the thought. Sanji pulled him deep and he tried not to moan as he put his fingers down to lift up the cook’s head.

“Sanji, you don’t need to worry about that,” the swordsman said firmly.

Sanji’s hot lips slowly released Zoro’s cock, “Why? I like it.”

_I bet you do._

Shit he’s hot…

Zoro’s heart rate rose as Sanji’s fingers trailed slowly down his muscled chest, finally encircling his erection and stroking a teasing palm along it. For a second, Zoro wanted nothing more than to throw the cook face down onto the hard tiles and explore every crevice of his body. He took a deep breath and remembered that he was meant to have some kind of will power.

“I like it too, but it’s time you got a proper fuck,” the swordsman replied, turning Sanji’s head up to look him in the eyes.

“Proper fuck?” the cook asked, eyes twinkling.

Zoro stepped away and turned on the shower, he offered a hand to Sanji who scoffed at him and stood up unassisted. The swordsman adjusted the water temperature then turned back to Sanji. He put his hands around Sanji’s wrists and pulled him into a kiss. The cook tasted like smoke and spice and the feel of his body pressed so close was making Zoro feel like a starving man. He drank deep of Sanji’s smell and undid the cook’s trousers, letting them fall to the bathroom floor. His nimble fingers lifted the cook from his underpants and the last few wisps of gold fabric floated off. The kiss ended and Zoro pulled away,

“Proper, how?” Sanji persisted.

Zoro leaned in until his earrings were getting tangled in soft blonde hair, “I’m going to make you come,” he whispered. He closed his hands over the cook’s erection, stroking him and pulling him closer. After sating himself with another deep kiss, he pulled the cook into the running water. It beaded on his pale skin in the sunlight and threw rainbows on the tile floor. Zoro grabbed the nearest bottle of lotion and poured some onto his hands, it foamed in the water and he began to rub the bubbles into the perfect blonde curls below the cook’s belly button.

“What are you doing?” Sanji asked,

“You said you were dirty.” The swordsman’s hand slid between the perfect orbs of Sanji’s ass and delicate skin quivered at his touch. Sanji moaned as soap coated fingers slid into him, Zoro pressed their bodies together and pushed his fingers deeper. Sanji’s head rested on his shoulder, the water cascading over blonde hair and washing the bubbles away. Zoro coated his other hand and slid it between their bodies, crushing Sanji’s cock against his own as they ground together. He let his fingertips trail from the cook’s balls slowly higher. Sanji’s hips began to rock forwards with every targeted thrust.

The cook’s fingernails raked down Zoro’s back and the pain egged the swordsman on. He kissed Sanji roughly and pulled him out of the main force of the water. He kissed the cook’s wet, clean skin and pushed his fingers still deeper. He kissed down Sanji’s stomach and took the cook in his mouth, tasting salt on his tip as he pulled the hips closer. Sanji’s moans got louder and his nails dug into Zoro’s neck, he hooked one leg over Zoro’s shoulder pulling the swordsman closer. Zoro ground his fingers to the third knuckle and felt the cook pull tight around him. A powerful thigh clamped around Zoro’s head and he heard Sanji swearing loudly above him,

“Shitty…. Marimo… fucking stop it…” but desperate hands pulled Zoro’s hair, urging him on and Sanji’s skin was slick with water and sweat. “Fucking… yes… no I have to… oh fuck…. Fucking… shitty… stop, oh fuck….”

Sanji’s leg was unclamped from Zoro’s head and the swordsman was roughly pulled to his feet. He pushed his fingers deep into the cook and felt the desperate heat quiver. “Oh… fuck… stop…” Sanji pulled Zoro’s hand away sighing as the heat left him. He focussed dark eyes on Zoro and wiped the hair from his eyes. Then he stepped back into the water, turning away from Zoro and putting both palms flat against the tile wall. He turned and grinned over his shoulder, spreading his legs and pushing his ass out towards Zoro,

“Make me come,” he demanded.

\---xxx---


	6. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See, I got you XD
> 
> Warning - SMUT I really mean it this time lmao

\---xxx---

Sanji’s golden hair glinted in the sunlight that spilled from the high windows. Every beaded drop of water on his skin became a prism and he looked like he was scattered with diamonds. His knuckles were white where he pressed his palms into the slick tiles. His long, powerful legs were spread and his back arched. The water from the shower was running down his back and over his dimpled ass. After a minute offering up his perfect body, he turned around,

“You’re not going to back down now are you, moss-head?”

In a breath, Zoro was between his legs. He clutched one hand to Sanji’s sharp hip and the other to the cook’s shoulder, pulling him back and against the swordsman’s hungry body. He felt the water running down his hyper-sensitive skin and the cook’s heat was dissolving into his skin.

“I never back down,” Zoro growled in his ear. Sanji responded by grinding his ass against the swordsman’s body causing hot shivers to radiate from his groin. The cook was so full of lust and passion, the smell of his hot skin alone reeked of sex. Zoro pushed back and the friction made Sanji moan and squirm. The feeling of the cook grinding against him and his soft urgent moans were _so delicious._

Zoro drew his hands together and his fingers squeezed Sanji’s nipples, then he arched his back and he rubbed his cock slowly and deliberately against the cook’s eager ass. He could feel the heat from between the Sanji’s legs and watching the water flow off the cook’s perfectly round and dimpled buttocks was almost too much. Sanji’s hand grabbed Zoro’s cock and began to guide him forwards. It had been a long time since Zoro had a lover that was so eager and he was torn between sating Sanji’s desperate lust and toying with him for just a little longer…

Zoro could tell the cook was seconds off coming when he stopped the swordsman giving him head. Zoro may not be a professional but he knew his technique was pretty good. He liked to be in control in bed and he loved the sound of desperate whimpers, so proper technique was a must. Anyway, he was not the sort of man who did anything by halves. He let Sanji lead him forwards but stopped when his cock pressed against Sanji’s tight slick hole. The blonde groaned in frustration and growled over his shoulder,

“You’re so fucking slow, I’m falling asleep here!” the cook’s desperation was clear in his husky voice. His hand stroked up Zoro’s cock and urged him on; he was more than ready. The swordsman grabbed Sanji firmly by the wrists and then slammed him forwards into the wall, pinning him there. He was going to do this _his way._

He bit slowly down the cook’s neck, running his cock down the cook’s ass crack. Sanji moaned and pushed back against him, hungry for more contact. The water flowed between their bodies, caressing every curve and angle. Zoro leaned over the cook’s back and pushed until he felt the heat give and the cook arched towards him and spread his legs. He watched as his cock disappeared inch by inch until he had to close his eyes and just let the water run over him. Sanji bucked against him and he tightened his grip,

“Hold on,” the swordsman whispered. He drove up firmly between Sanji’s legs, feeling the heat close in on him. Sanji moaned and ground his hips back, forcing Zoro into him up to the hilt. Sanji was so fucking tight; Zoro struggled against the wriggling, gasping cook. He secured his feet on the slippery floor and lifted Sanji into the air, bringing him down hard and fast to press deep between the cook’s legs. He revelled in the desperate gasps and found a rhythm. The sensation was so powerful he nearly felt dizzy with it, waves of pleasure rolling over him with every forceful thrust.

Sanji’s hands spread wide against the wall, his arms taking the force of Zoro’s strong body. “There! SHIT, there!” the cook gasped as Zoro angled Sanji’s hips to get as deep as he could go. He felt the muscles ripple around him and then Sanji’s cries echoed off the marble, as streams of white coated the tiles in front of them. Zoro slowed his pace and started to lower the cook back to the ground. His cock was aching with the effort of stopping but he wanted Sanji to know the some men weren’t just assholes looking to get off. Sanji feet touched the ground and he stood, wobbly for a minute. Zoro made to pull away, but the cook stopped him, squeezing his ass around Zoro’s thick, aching cock.

“Keep going,” he gasped, “ _more_ …” He braced his arms out and turned away squeezing Zoro’s cock again and moaning with the delicious friction. Zoro took in the sight, the messy blonde hair and flushed cheeks, legs spread wide. The smell of his come in the air was intoxicating, Zoro wanted to turn him over and lick it from his muscled stomach, but the cook’s ass was so hot and so fucking tight… Zoro thrust once, deep, near lifting the cook off the ground again.

“Shitty… swordsman…” Sanji moaned. He bucked his hips back as Zoro closed one hand on the cook’s firming cock. It was sticky with come and Zoro licked it from his fingers. With each delicious lick he thrust hard. He could feel every contour of Sanji’s insides, every rough inch of pleasure. Harder and harder he pushed, letting the strength of his legs carry the cook’s weight. Sanji’s forearms buckled and he pressed his elbows into the tiles, resting his forehead on the cold surface. Zoro lessened the pressure but the cook pulled him back with his ankles, practically kicking their bodies together. With every stroke the cook bucked against him, squeezing his tip and groaning like he was coming all over again. Zoro was so hard, watching the firm, round ass cheeks clench over him as he drove deep between the blonde’s legs.

He let one hand explore the cook’s body, roughly slamming him against the wall. He pinched Sanji’s nipples and grinned when he heard the breathy moans get deeper. He raked his nails slowly down and brushed his hands against the cook’s ridged cock. He kissed Sanji’s neck and tasted the wet salt on his skin and the blonde began to swear louder,

“Fuck! Hard… I’m coming…”

He closed his hand around the solid weight of Sanji’s erection and finally let himself go. The blinding heat wrapped around him as he lifted the cook high. He took control of the pointed hips and moved Sanji to his will, finding the place where he could press the deepest. Sanji’s swearing faded away and his whole world became flesh grinding on bone. Being inside this perfect body was just _bliss_. The cook’s breathy moans thrilled through him… All he wanted was to make him come so hard that he wouldn’t be able to fuck for a week. In and out, in and out, rhythm and sweat. Higher and deeper and harder every thrust. Sanji’s body was so lithe, rippling muscles drawing against his, fighting his every move for more friction. Slamming against him with a force that would knock anyone else clean off their feet. Zoro felt the tingling in his spine, rushing, aching, building inside him. He slid in fast plunging deep into Sanji’s heat. The cook pulsed in his hand and Sanji’s shout slammed him back into reality with a bolt of lust like lightning. Suddenly he was wet, sweaty and growling as he took utter control Sanji’s body, pinning him fast and pumping, gasping as he came hard in that perfect heat.

They were left, breathing heavy as the water cascaded over them. Sanji’s hand dropped and Zoro realised the cook had been pulling his hair. He hadn’t even felt it. He lowered the cook to the floor and slowly pulled away. Sanji turned and a lazy, satisfied smirk lingered on his lips.

“You’re in trouble now,” he said, blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

“You wouldn’t tell on me,” Zoro scoffed.

“Want a bet? I have quite an ironic sense of humour you know.” The blonde smirked some more and Zoro suddenly remembered why he annoyed the crap out of him.

“I know. You’re very fucking funny,” Zoro glared at the cook and ignored his post-coital urge to cuddle the annoying prick, “I know you won’t do it.”

“Why?” The cook was clearly enjoying this a lot. “Like I said before, you can’t do anything.” The cocky grin had nearly taken over his entire face.

“Oh yes I can…” The swordsman leaned forwards and looked straight into Sanji’s twinkling eyes. “You tell the Sultan… and I won’t fuck you.”

The grin sagged comically. He clearly had not thought of that. Zoro collected his clothes and left the room as Sanji was finishing his shower. He couldn’t make sense of the cook or his weird moods, but one thing was for sure: he had never made such an empty threat in all his life.

\---xxx---

The swordsman slept. He trained. He ate. He lazed around as much as way humanly possible and then some. He ignored the gorgeous sun-kissed days. He ignored the gorgeous star-filled nights. He ignored the gorgeous half-naked blonde.

_Mostly._

Sanji had been quiet since the day when Zoro had seen him so upset. Everything else after that seemed like a dream, especially because that was all he had dreamed about ever since he had seen Sanji's ass. But he had been so determined not to be left alone with the cook. So determined to be strong… and then one minute he was just doing his job like every other day and the next he was pounding Sanji’s brains out against the bathroom wall.

Why hadn’t he just gone to the village and gotten laid like he had planned?!

Something about Sanji had changed though, since that day. The blonde was still cocky, he was still a mouthy idiot… but there was just a little less force behind his words. He seemed preoccupied, almost angry. He was even too distracted to make the swordsman’s days hell with overt glimpses of flesh and incredibly crude flirting. Zoro thought over the events of that day: Sanji’s pained face, his desperation and his barbed words. So much had happened; it was hard to sift through the memories to get to the meaning underneath.

If Sanji was so miserable, what the hell was he doing here? And what had happened to him? What had made him so damn angry?! Zoro’s imagination was never one of his weak points and suddenly, he was livid with rage. Just because Sanji was a concubine, it didn’t mean these wealthy scumbags could use him however they wanted! No-one deserved to be treated like that and the fact that Sanji just accepted it made him even more angry. He knew that he really shouldn’t give a damn but he just couldn’t sit back and watch a friend just fucking fade away. There had to be something he could do. _Think!_

There had to be a reason that Sanji was here. Despite years perfecting his body, the swordsman knew he had brain if he could be bothered using it. Sanji only cared about two things: cooking and women. He also liked flirting and fighting a hell of a lot but Zoro put that down to personality. He wasn’t here to cook because the Sultan didn’t even know he could cook when he hired him so it had to be a woman. He had seen the blonde talking to Nami before but he had never really thought about it too much. He talked to all the girls whenever they were within earshot.

_But just maybe..._

And even though he didn’t know it at the time, with that fatal thought, it was over.

He really was too practical for his own good sometimes.

\---xxx---

A short talk to the Sultan later and Zoro found himself standing in a corner in the rose garden. It had all been deceptively easy, so he was still trying to figure out the catch. He didn’t even know how the hell it had happened. One minute he was vowing to butt out and the next, he was here with Sanji. He seemed to be having more and more of these lapses of reason recently. Most of the time they were accompanied by memories of low groans and desperate heat. He resolved not to think about it too much, put it down to mind blowing sex and returned to the task at hand. The scent of the roses was heavy all around him and all he could see was the cook’s stomach.

He remembered feeling it slick with water and come as he took Sanji to that blissful brink… _Stop. Come on, concentrate._

The blonde was staring at him. He slowly put a cigarette to his lips and lit it, closing his eyes in pleasure as the first smoke hit his lungs. Zoro blinked twice and re-focussed his eyes to a more appropriate place for conversation. Sanji smirked,

“Why’d you drag me out here? Want another taste?”

He looked the blonde in the eyes and told him straight out. It was his style in life and it seemed to work most of the time. “Sanji, I got you a job as a chef here.”

“A chef?” Sanji glared through his pale fringe, “I don’t want to be a damn chef.”

“Well you are one,” Zoro glared. The guy loved to cook, what was his damn problem? He should have expected it though, temperamental bastard.

“Well un-make me one,” the blonde glared back and took a deep drag on his cigarette.

“I can’t,” Zoro glared back. Of all the ungrateful… “I was only trying to help you!”

“Well un-help me, asshole! I want to stay here,” Sanji pouted something fierce.

Suddenly Zoro was pissed off. Stupid asshole hated the place and was miserable all the fucking time! This whole situation was too ridiculous for words! “What the hell is it with you and this place? Why the hell are you even here!?”

“I want to stay with the ladies!” Sanji was slowly turning red with frustration and rage.

“The ladies can take care of themselves.” Zoro snorted. _Crazy women._

“No she can’t!!!”

“She?” Zoro softened his voice just a little, he didn’t want the guy to go nuts.

Sanji glared, pulled a face and then sighed, “Nami.”

“…and…” Zoro leaned forward, trying to be encouraging. _Just spit it out already!_

“She came in here with some crazy plan. I just wanted to make sure that she didn’t get hurt. She’ll do anything for money. It’s kind-of scary…”

“Ah,” Zoro nodded. _Dumb-ass._ The cook really didn’t give him enough credit. “Would it make any difference if I said you’re now the personal chef for the ladies and you’ll still be around them all day?”

This was the real question. Was it just about her or was it about the men as well? Did he really like bein.. Zoro’s train of thought was cut off by a very enthusiastic cook. One flying tackle-hug later and the swordsman was beginning to feel that the world didn’t look so bad.

\---xxx---

Nami lay in the biggest bed in the palace and congratulated herself. Even if she hadn’t been able to get close to the Sultan’s son, she had still managed quite well for herself. It had also been much more enjoyable than the alternative. She was a little concerned that she hadn’t thought of it quicker, actually. It just showed how good the smell of treasure was here though… Very distracting.

The curtains of the bed rippled in the breeze and a dozen hands bloomed on the bed around her naked body. Robin’s voice floated in from the room beyond, confident and ever-so-slightly smug,

“Would you care for a massage before breakfast, Nami-kun?”

The words reminded her of that silly cook that had followed her into the Palace. She had only met him a few days before that but for some reason he insisted on helping her achieve her goal and she certainly wasn’t going to dissuade him. A little help was always appreciated even if he was a total idiot. He was pure lust and chivalry as far as she could tell. At least he would be easy to ditch once she had her treasure safe and sound.

“Hai, that would be blissful. I think I might have strained a muscle or two last night,” the Navigator grinned at the memories of contorted bodies. It had been fun. She also felt like she was finally getting closer to her goal, after this she might even have enough money to buy her village back from that bastard…

“You seem tense,” Robin soothed, as she sat down on the end of the bed. The hands began to caress her body, ironing out kinks with gentle, sweeping strokes.

“No, I’m fine,” she beamed her best smile and relaxed. Of all the things she had done to fulfil her dream, this was certainly not the worst. Robin smiled back with dark eyes full of mystery. Now _this one_ would be much harder to figure out.

\---xxx---


	7. Echoes

\---xxx---

The Sultan pondered his hands. They were weathered by the years of toil that his father made him endure before he would trust his Kingdom to a ‘mere child’. It had been worth it in the end. It had helped him to see the lives of his subjects and understand the troubles that filled their days: the sore backs, the empty stomachs, the long hot hours under the baking desert sun… Maybe he had been too easy on Luffy. He didn’t seem to want to do anything but play. He followed the Harem Master like his very shadow but he couldn’t tell if it was the love of a brother, nakama or something more.

What was he to do with the boy?

“Trouble my love?”

Robin gazed up at him with her knowing eyes. She lounged with her head in his lap, her dark hair blending in to the ink silk. They usually met to eat and discuss the day. As the shadows began to creep across the lawns, they sat and spent a quiet minute in a day filled with formality and responsibility. It was a simple joy that Robin made splendid; her company was something he always looked forward to.

“Luffy,” he said.

One word would be enough; she knew just how he felt. He found that many wives simply asked these questions because they felt obliged to. Robin asked because she genuinely wanted to know. Often, she even knew the solution to his problems before he did. She was certainly a rare bird in the oasis that he had created.

“Ah,” she smiled at the thought of her errant adopted son, “Luffy will be fine.”

“But how can you say that? He has no direction! No drive!”

“That’s not true, My Lord. He is always dreaming of the seas and the adventures that he will have when he becomes the Pirate King.”

The Sultan sighed, “That’s not a career, it’s a fantasy! He might be strong but look what happened to the last Pirate King. He’d be killed…” He put his head in his sweaty palms and felt the warmth of many hands caressing his brow.

“Maybe it is not his drive that you are concerned about,” her wide pale eyes were full of sympathy, but as always her words were clear and to the point. “Maybe you are more concerned that his endless ambition will lead him to a gory and untimely death, perhaps by keel-hauling or drowning or maybe even being drawn and q..”

“Please, my dear!” the Sultan gasped. Sometimes she was a little too clear.

“You have always told him that he has a choice in his future. Now you must decide if you are ready for him to lead the life that he has chosen or if you intend to try to make him change his mind.”

As always, she was right.

The Sultan sighed and contemplated his knuckles. So many years of toil. He could have fallen from a tree or been crushed by a block of stone… Life was always dangerous. It was true that even being Sultan carried its risks. Being a pirate had to be more dangerous, surely?! Was he ready to let his son go, knowing that he may never return?

“Come on,” Robin cajoled, “don’t you want to know what I’ve been up to with Nami-kun?”

That sounded _much better._

“Please, tell.”

“I think she is planning something cheeky you know…” Robin stroked her many hands lightly over his chest and grinned. Interesting.

“Nothing I need worry about too much?”

“You, my lord? No,” she smiled and started twirling her hair absentmindedly.

“Well then, tell me everything!” he spluttered.

She was such a tease sometimes!

\---xxx---

Zoro was cursing his stupidity. Aside from falling asleep under the fig tree, he had done a lot of stupid things in the last few days.

He thought that getting Sanji a job as cook would make things better for him too. He owed the Sultan one hell of a favour though.

_Stupid._

He had been stupid giving in to it; his lust got the better of him. The cook job seemed like the best solution at the time. It wouldn’t matter if he was sleeping with Sanji if he wasn’t part of the harem anymore. Now that he wasn’t about to get fired for it, he was free to work this lust out of his system. Once he’d had the cook’s perfect body under him a few more times, he was sure to get over it and be able to move on to new and exciting things. Like fighting stupidly tough pirates and making a name for himself.

It all seemed so simple until he realised the fatal flaw in his plan: _Sanji._

The damn blonde was so unpredictable! First he had been all over Zoro and now he got what he wanted he seemed to be over it. It made the swordsman feel like a total idiot. He had been that man so many times, the one that got what he wanted and never wanted it again… What was Sanji’s problem? It’s not like he wanted to marry the guy!

The swordsman huffed and turned over. He could hear the sound of meat frying and ladies giggling. Every now and then the sound of Luffy whooping cut through the laziness of a still, hot Sunday afternoon. It smelt incredible, everything that Sanji cooked was delicious after-all but Zoro wasn’t hungry.

Stupid cook did nothing but fawn over the ladies. It was embarrassing! The sound of him cooing like a desperate teenager was practically deafening. All the ladies seemed to love him though. Zoro didn’t understand it. If he were a woman he would certainly want a professional fighter, not some… chef!

The only woman who didn’t just fall under the blonde’s spell was Nami. She seemed to find all Sanji’s attentions a little bit much. She put up with him and bossed him around like a pro but when it came down to it, it seemed pretty obvious it was a tolerance more than anything else. Her disdain didn’t dampen the cook’s enthusiasm at all, if anything it just made Sanji worse.

He was so naïve! Any idiot could see that Nami had much more interest in ladies than in men. She and Robin-sama had been practically joined at the hip since she arrived, something that he still found a little bit scary. Nami had already got him in a lot of trouble, now she had the ear of the first wife… why the hell had he borrowed money off her?!

_Stupid._

The swordsman couldn’t figure out why Robin put up with her. The first wife was calm, intelligent and quite astute whereas Nami was loud, annoying and raved about maps all the time, that and treasure. She was just a little too keen on knowing the details of the Sultan’s coffers. Oh, she kept it to herself most of the time but the way her eyes lingered on antiques and jewellery, you could practically see the berri symbols in her eyes. Zoro tried not to notice, he was just meant to be guarding the women, after all. Whatever the hell she was up to, he didn’t want to know.

A particularly loud whoop issue from over the hedge and Zoro yawned, stood up and scraped the fig from his head with a sigh. He wasn’t sleeping anyway. He considered the remains of the fig tree. It was mostly just leaves and woodchips. He had carved it to pieces out of sheer instinct when it deposited the over-ripe fruit on his head. _Yuck._

Shower first and then he’d see what Sanji was up too. Rude bastard hadn’t even offered him lunch! What an asshole.

Oh well, whatever. He wasn’t the type to get all flustered over some frothy idiot. He’d come around. Zoro just had to keep his nose out of anything suss and bide his time.

_Simple._

\---xxx--- 

The smell of the fresh herbs wafted up to caress Sanji’s palate. His sense of smell was so acute that he could taste the sweetness of coriander and the soothing warmth of rosemary. The world was alive with colour and sound, all beautiful bikinis and soft giggles floating on the herb-scented breeze. The garden was now his kitchen. The ladies had petitioned the Sultan to allow him to cook in front of them. He had been so flattered that he had almost pulled a hamstring but somehow, he had recovered.

His daily meal preparation was now something of a spectator sport and he revelled in the chance to dress up and show off to some of the most gorgeous girls in the Kingdom. Right now he was wearing a silk number that took inspiration from traditional chef’s attire in West Blue. He looked _incredible._

Everything was going his way. In fact, everything was perfect. Too perfect. The food was too delicious, the girls too beautiful, the colours too bright.

_Shitty swordsman._

He was _nothing special_ really but he had struck a nerve in a big way. Sanji was miserable, he told Zoro and Zoro made his problem go away. No one had ever done that before. He’d lived a miserable life surrounded by hate and violence. He loved women, true. It was a desperate kind of love though, not returned. Until now he had believed that it was all he could ever get. Love in the form of pity.

He couldn’t get his head around it. Why would a guy who only cared about fighting and sleeping want to help him? The only answer he could come up with was for the sex. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d have trouble getting laid.

During his time as concubine his ability to daydream - to be somewhere else - had been his saviour. Now that he was in a situation that he liked it just seemed to torment him. Images of Zoro begging the Sultan to help him, saying that the cook was too talented to be locked away like a piece of meat. Standing up for him when he never asked for it, when he didn’t even deserve it. He was just a whore after all – why would anyone want him to be happy?

He didn’t want to think about it. Everything he had ever done was built around that belief: that he was worthless. He had spent his whole life just building up skills that would allow people to tolerate him. To make his presence easier on the eye, to make his words more tasteful to those who deserved to be happy. To make himself less of a burden to others and allow him to live a life without feeling guilty for just breathing in and out. He knew it was stupid and melodramatic. He felt like a fool for being so down on himself when he knew he was something special but the emptiness weighed so heavy on his chest…

And now his whole life had been thrown into question with that one gesture by a man who didn’t even cuddle after sex!

_What the fuck!?_

But that was ok; he had a lot to distract him. He’d ignore the bastard and he’d go away. No point pining for something that would never happen. He had a lovely life to live after all. The girls were a constant source of wonder and delight. At the moment they were bathing. _Again._ Vivi shrieked as Perona sprayed her with water, the flowing silk of her summer dress clinging to her body… in this case ignorance truly was bliss.

Speaking of such….

“Sanji-kun…” Nami came sashaying up to him, her long eyelashes fluttering in the breeze. The way they kissed her cheeks with every sultry blink made his heart flutter.

“Mellorine!” Sanji’s knees went weak.

“Shhh!” she grabbed his face, squashing his lips up like a fish. “I need to talk to you in private,” she whispered conspiratorially.

“Enmi shing phorooou mahder,” Sanji burbled.

“Good.” Nami leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “Meet me at midnight by the fountain at the west gate.” Then as soon as she had come, she let him go and walked away, laughing as if they had shared a private joke.

_A midnight rendezvous?_

Exciting and probably very dangerous.

But what the hell would he wear?

\---xxx---


	8. Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji is now the harem chef but memories of his previous life still haunt him. Zoro tries to cheer the man up in the only way he knows how, fighting. This is Zoro after-all ;D

\---xxx---

Sanji strode through the garden, soft dark fabric floating out behind him. He had chosen blue, of course, as the appropriate colour for a midnight rendezvous. The chill in the air made his flesh prickle with goose bumps; or it could have been the excitement. It had been years since he had met a girl by moonlight. He flitted in and out of the shadows, appreciating the last notes of jasmine still clinging to the gentle breeze. Somewhere in this garden, she was waiting for him.

“Sanji!” He heard the urgent whisper but he couldn’t pinpoint its source. It was her, she was calling to him! After a minute of heart-fluttering-starry-eyes-patented-Sanji-lady-fit he turned on the spot. “Here!” A hand reached out from behind him and yanked him into a nearby bush.

“What were you doing just walking around in the open like that?” Nami hissed. Sanji only saw the sweet sweep of her lips and the generous dimple in her cheeks. Ah, what a cute girl.

“Pay attention!” she grumbled, sticking out her bottom lip like a petulant child.

“Hai, nami-schwan!” he purred, wondering just what exactly he had gotten himself into. He might be keen but he was not completely stupid. Even if he was more than willing to help Nami, her plans could be a little, well… _enthusiastic._

“It’s time for us to move,” she whispered conspiratorially, pulling him down until his ear was at the same level as her lips. “This is as close as I’m going to be able to get to the treasure so we have to strike before anyone gets suspicious. Friday night, when everyone is at the banquet, we will go to the safe and empty it.”

“But won’t there be too much security?” Sanji prompted, trying not to float off on the heady scent of her perfume. He had actually started to like the Sultan and his staff so he wasn’t really in a rush to rob them blind… It was for her though, for her family. He had promised that he would help to save them. Anyway, they had so much money here, surely a little bit wouldn’t make so much difference?

“There are only a few guards out in the foyer area,” she shot back defiantly, “I’ve figured out how to get into the inner sanctum without too much hassle. I’ll need your help though. Can I count on you?” Her large, dark eyes gazed up at him. As always, there was only one answer he could give.

“Of course you can. I always protect my nakama.” He beamed a rather goofy smile. Despite the fact that he liked strong men, girls always were his weakness. There was just something about them and this one was a damsel in distress. No matter how weak he felt, he would always help a woman in need.

“Make sure that you’re not seen on the way back to your room,” Nami whispered as they stepped out of the bushes. She smiled warmly, before turning back into the shadows along the western boundary wall. He watched her go as far as he could see her. It didn’t take long for her form to melt into the pervading darkness and disappear completely.

She would be the death of him one day, that was for sure. He couldn’t help it though. Having had such a hard life, being beaten down so many times… the way that she refused to give up and refused to say die was so amazing. She was inspirational in her own way. Maybe one day he would have the guts to follow his dream like she did.

As he was contemplating what he would do if he could live his life over again, he heard an abrupt rustle in one of the shrubs behind him. His body twisted automatically, one deadly leg held high.

“Took you long enough,” the shrub said, in an all-too-familiar voice.

_Shit,_ Sanji thought, _how long was he there?_

“I knew you were there!” The cook spluttered; his grin was cocky but it hid his nerves. Zoro could not know what they were planning. Nothing could get in the way of her dream to save her island…

The swordsman strode out of the shrub, a smug grin on his face. His hair was all tousled and a stray leaf stuck out of it, green on green.

Sanji’s nerves were not helped by the fact that the idiot Marimo was standing there wearing nothing but a pair of pants. Pants! The desert nights were surprisingly cold and this one was no exception. Sanji was wrapped from head to toe but Zoro just stood there, half naked. He was gazing at Sanji with intense dark eyes.

The cook regained his composure, “What is it shitty-swordsman?” He glared and lit a cigarette, as if that was what he had been intending to do all along.

“You’re out late.” One corner of Zoro’s lips curled in a smile.

Sanji wanted to just leave. He had a perfectly good plan to get out of this without too much emotional fallout; he just had to walk away.

“Awesome powers of observation you have there,” Sanji quipped. Zoro remained where he was, completely impassive. The cook stroked the line of golden fluff on his chin and tilted his head to one side, “You stalking me again, Marimo?”

“I’m on patrol,” Zoro deadpanned.

In so many years there was one thing that Sanji had learnt well: don’t get attached. He had trusted so many times and fallen over and over again. It was weak and it made him so angry with himself but he just couldn’t risk it. He already felt so down… he had to protect himself from all the assholes in the world. He had to keep the strength he had to survive; so that he could follow his dream.

“Well, enjoy your patrol,” he said. He let his eyes wander over the swordsman’s stunning body. The shadows cast by the moonlight clung to all his best muscles. It made him look like he was a sculpture, a stylised warrior from a museum. Somewhere between Zoro’s pecs and his rippling stomach the cook’s resolve began to waver, “I’m cold, so I’m going to bed…” he hinted.

_Hey hey!_ The sensible voice in his head said, _ignore him. That was the plan. You love plans, don’t change the damn plan._

“Well…” Zoro eyes flicked up, his eyebrows knitted together, “Don’t do anything stupid!” He huffed, turning to walk away.

He really couldn’t read people at all, surely anyone else would have heard the invitation in those words. Or at least tried to take advantage! Zoro had been doing his best to drag him back into bed ever since they had spent that one blissful afternoon together. Now it seemed like he was waiting for something… Maybe he really didn’t know that he was being flirted with, even if it was just a little. It was an absolute mystery how he had seen the cook’s pain through the mask that no one else could pierce.

“Of course I won’t do anything stupid,” Sanji pulled the cigarette from his lips and a thin stream of smoke escaped. He was going to just walk away, really, he was… but Zoro always pushed his damn buttons! He couldn’t just let the idiot Marimo have the last word.

He flicked his blonde hair back with one hand and smiled that perfect cocky smile, “I’m not the one who fell into a bush, baka.”

“I didn’t fall into the bush, shit head!” Zoro shouted, his voice ringing out in the quiet of the still, cold night. He blinked and continued quietly, “Anyway, just be careful.”

“Me, be careful? You’re the one getting beaten up by inanimate objects,” Sanji grinned. The swordsman rolled his eyes but did not say a word. “Not biting tonight, Marimo? That’s weird.” Sanji prodded. Normally that would have provoked a much bigger reaction. He peered into Zoro's unreadable black eyes. What was going on with him? Was he really just going to stand there?

_This could be fun._

The cook raised one leg and playfully tapped Zoro on the chest.

“Hello? Earth to Marimo.”

“I’m serious.” Zoro grabbed Sanji’s ankle and glared, trying to cut through the blonde curtain hiding Sanji’s eyes, “I didn’t get you out of that shitty job just to have you go and get yourself into an even bigger mess.”

The words just tumbled out. He knew that Sanji wouldn’t like them; with his flash-in-the-pan temper and wounded pride he was like an injured animal. He had expected Sanji to go weird after their steamy encounter; he was too emotional to do anything else right now. It didn’t matter though. This was important! He would say it even if it meant he was another step away from that gorgeous pale body… those searching pink lips… The memory of his warm mouth, sliding slowly down, soft lips brushing against sensitive skin and sending shivers up his back…

Sanji put his weight into his front foot and shoved the swordsman backward, twisting out of Zoro’s grip. His face went from placid to red rage. Zoro sighed, _damn it._

“I don’t owe you anything baka swordsman and don’t you forget it! I can do whatever I want! You don’t understand how I feel and what I need to do, you don’t have to worry about anyone! She came to me for help and I’m going to help her!” Sanji quivered with rage.

Zoro shook his head sadly; the guy was a freaking idiot. Really. “She’s just using you.”

“So what if she is?!” Sanji screamed back, stepping right up to look the swordsman in the eyes. Dumb Marimo couldn’t see! All the heat and pressure swelled in his chest, he tried to suppress it. It knocked the wind out of his lungs and left him cold.  
  
Zoro watched the blonde slowly pale. Where Sanji was confused, his emotions were stark and pure: he was angry. Did Sanji really think that running around after someone like that was the best that he could do? Had that witch made him believe that this was all he was worth? He had seen women who did these sorts of things before.

He grabbed Sanji’s silk shirt, feeling the fragile fabric tear in his strong hands. He twisted it up into a bunch, trying to stop the cook from struggling. He knew it was none of his business but despite his front, the blonde seemed to be in trouble. He needed to look him in the eye and tell him that it would not work,

“She doesn’t care Sanji! She’ll just use you up and spit you out.”

Sanji struggled and kicked, their bodies were so close that Zoro could taste the salt of the tears rolling down his cheeks. “Let me go!” he spluttered.

“No,” Zoro held him fast. Sanji twisted like a serpent and kneed him hard in the balls but Zoro managed to keep hold of him. He panted and wriggled, the tears flowing faster and faster.

“You shitty bastard let me go!” the cook growled.

He moved so quickly that even Zoro was surprised when his legs were kicked out from under him. He made a quick decision, it was either let go and pull out his swords, or… He clung onto Sanji and they both rolled across the damp grass. Zoro made sure to use his upper body strength to end up on top. He looked Sanji in the eye and instead of pressing his advantage, he stood up and put out a hand.

“Ok,” the swordsman said, “Do what you want.”

Another random Sanji expression that the swordsman couldn’t understand: anger, pain, fear? Then the cook stared at his hand and scowled, jumping to his feet. The way he moved put Zoro on warning and so the first sweeping kick wasn’t such a surprise. He hopped over it and it wasn’t so bad. It was the dozen after that that were a little unexpected. Sanji shouted and rained kicks down on him like a storm,

“ASSHOLE… NOSY… MARIMO… BASTARD…!!!”

Finally, the blonde stopped dead. Gasps of exhaustion and sobs cut his words into pieces, “And.. yo.. u.. are so… dif… fer.. ent… are.. you….? You.. wa… nt… me.. to.. be hap.. py…” Despite the gasps, the whispered words were so clear. Zoro was caught in the pain in his voice, he held the sobbing man tightly in his hands.

Sanji took two deep breaths and the sobbing slowed, “You… are so… fucking different are you Zoro?” His voice had taken on a bitter edge. Sanji finally looked up and his red-rimmed eyes made the swordsman’s heart ache.

“You are so different? Than every person I have ever met? You don’t want something from me? To control me? To use me? To make me do what you want?”

His eyes were so sad. His shaking hands held Zoro’s arms, as if he let go he would fall.

“I…” There were no words.

Zoro did not want him to go with that woman. He wanted the cook to stay with him. He wasn’t thinking of Sanji’s desires. After the things that he had done he would probably never want the things that Zoro wanted… The swordsman had been stupid. Selfish.

Enough. He would not be one more person to just take what he wanted from the cook. He wanted Sanji to have whatever he liked, to do whatever he wanted.

Even if it was stupid.

He pulled Sanji forwards and held him tight, “Do you really think that she deserves your help?” he mumbled into the soft blonde hair.

“Yes.” Sanji whispered.

“Then what can I do to help?” Zoro said.

Sanji did not reply, but his tears were not as warm as his searching lips when he pulled the swordsman close.

\---xxx---


	9. Confidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut, all the smut XD

\---xxx---

It was just after midnight and the only sounds that Zoro could hear were the crickets and his beating heart. Despite being under-dressed the swordsman did not feel the cold, his bare skin was warmed by the training that kept him awake. It had been worth it, this late night stake out.

The cook’s breath was spiced with smoke and his lips were warm and sweet. Sanji’s body swayed into the swordsman, who instinctively wrapped his arms around the lithe frame. Zoro buried one hand in Sanji’s golden fringe and tilted his chin into the kiss. He could taste the tears melting between them.

Sanji’s tears.

The cook slowly leant back, his hair slipping from the swordsman’s fingers. He peered deep into Zoro’s eyes but made no move to pull his body away. Because of all that kicking and twisting the cook’s body was hard and defined, his hipbones biting the swordsman’s stomach. Sanji was the same height as he was, but his legs were so much longer… Zoro could still feel the heat of his lean muscle pressing against him from the waist down. His breath faltered as Sanji shifted his weight and then grinned. It was more a twitch of the lip and a flicker in his steady stare - but it was there.

“You’re a nosy asshole,” the cook said.

“You said that,” Zoro nodded.

“And a shitty bastard,” Sanji glared.

“Yep, that too,” Zoro confirmed.

“I don’t need your help,” Sanji stated, finally starting to relax again into Zoro’s arms.

“I know,” Zoro grinned. He traced his fingers slowly up the cook’s back from his waist.

Sanji began to pull away and took a breath to speak. Zoro stopped him, nibbling his lower lip and gazing into his single grumpy eye. Zoro kissed him deeply despite his feigned struggles, finally letting him lean back and whispering gently into the cook’s ear,

“Do you ever shut up?”

Sanji scowled and pulled a face, “You piss me off,” he said.

“Well then, do something about it,” Zoro mumbled into the soft gold hair. It tickled his nose and smelled like cinnamon and smoke. He could feel Sanji’s body stiffen as his words sunk in.

“You’re trying to rile me up!” the cook exclaimed.

“Yep,” Zoro huffed warmly into his ear.

“You want me to kick your ass?”

“Nope,” Zoro nuzzled closer.

“Then what?” Sanji squirmed around to get the swordsman in view. One critical sky-blue eye pierced Zoro’s lethargic grin. He wanted the cook to take control; he had always been at people’s sexual beck and call. Zoro didn’t want Sanji the whore, he wanted Sanji the MAN, but telling him that would defeat the purpose. It was going to be Sanji’s choice or not at all.

“You figure it out,” the swordsman said.

Sanji looked at him, blinking in the low light. Gradually, awareness began to dawn on the cook’s face. “You don’t want to say that, Zoro. Better men than you have tried to keep up with me, and ended up broken and pathetic shells of their former selves,” Sanji finessed.

The swordsman just grinned wickedly, “Better men? I doubt it.”

“Zoro, Zoro, Zoro… you really are a brave, stupid man, ne?” Sanji shook his head sadly.

Zoro stared at him with a gaze that knew neither fear nor reason. “I’m not stupid,” he said.

“Ok then…” Sanji replied, sizing the swordsman up. The cook let the moment hang in the air.

He didn’t really know what Zoro was trying to do, goading him and harassing him. The swordsman was waiting, almost hovering. His expression was open, but there was a certain impatience in the way he rocked gently on the balls of his feet.

Sanji was SO going to walk away but… He needed to just take a minute out and forget his shitty life. After everything that he had been through recently, he deserved to have a little fun. Heck, he had _earned_ it. It was time to take a break from stressing out and over-thinking everything and just live for a minute!

“Come here,” Sanji said. He was firm but he didn’t shout. Testing the waters ever so slightly…

Zoro stepped forward into the moonlight, his dark skin finally starting to ripple with goose-bumps. The swordsman didn’t say a word; he just stepped forward. His face was like a mask but Sanji swore he could see a flicker of lust in Zoro’s dark eyes. Maybe it was barely contained fury at the indignity he was suffering.

Oh well, either way was fine.

“Kneel down,” Sanji said, his voice slow and level in order to make it sound as reasonable as possible. Zoro sunk slowly to his knees, his eyes never leaving the cook’s.

Sanji couldn’t believe that he was still intact. And Zoro wasn’t even arguing. It was time to see how far he could really push this thing…

“Come forward…” Sanji gestured for the swordsman to come closer; he waited until Zoro was only a few inches away and put his palm up to make him stop. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest. He suddenly understood the sensation of having a tiger by the tail.

“Kiss my feet,” Sanji said.

Zoro blinked up at him with a look of pure boredom.

“Ok, ok…” the cook said nervously, “well… take my pants off.” His voice trailed off into a rather un-masculine squeak but he didn’t care. His whole body tensed, he didn’t know what Zoro was going to do but what he actually did was definitely the last thing the cook expected.

Zoro just leaned forwards and began to remove the bolts of fabric that kept the damp night air from Sanji’s sensitive skin.

He drew a sharp breath as Zoro’s cold hands brushed against his stomach. Zoro unhitched the intricate web of fabric and let it fall to the ground along with the cook’s trousers, then he looked up with a placid expression that was completely unreadable.

Sanji felt more than naked with moonlight shining off his ass but that thought was very short lived…Suddenly the cook knew exactly what he wanted more than anything. “Suck my cock,” he said.

For a second it felt like those words were the only sound in the whole world. The corner of Zoro’s mouth twitched but he still didn’t talk, he just leaned forwards and took Sanji’s swelling cock into his mouth. He was gentle at first, his mouth was warm in the cool night and he moved his tongue in a way that made Sanji a little dizzy. It felt so surreal to be here in the stillness of night being taken to the next level of ecstasy.

Finally the swordsman broke the spell of silence with a guttural moan, he raised a calloused hand and drew the cook closer. Sanji swayed his hips into the swordsman’s sweet, hot mouth. He pressed deep and felt lips drawn tight, pulling him into the aching heat.

Sanji lost track of time as the swordsman’s head moved expertly up and down. Every time he swallowed hard, Sanji’s vision disappeared in a burst of white. Zoro’s hot breath made his skin tingle as he traced Sanji’s tip with his tongue, with a practiced flick he swallowed the cook again, every tiny sensation amplified by the wet heat of his rough tongue. The cook thrust deep against the aching perfection of Zoro’s lips, gasping and moaning. Sanji’s body shook as he came, Zoro swallowing him hard and making him cry out in animal satisfaction.

When Sanji finally came back down to earth, Zoro’s hands were trailing up between his legs. This was going to get too hot a lot too quickly if he didn’t do something now.

“Stand up,” Sanji said.

“Why?” Zoro complained, his fingers gently probing. He seemed perfectly content right where he was. The cook was not.

“We can’t do this out here!” Sanji said, gesturing widely out across the open gardens. It wasn’t exactly private.

“You still have your dick out,” Zoro said, slightly off-topic.

“Are you doing what I say or what?!” the cook demanded. Zoro shrugged and stood, then strode away towards the wing of the palace that held the cook’s room.

Sanji followed after him, hastily re-dressing as he went. He caught up and then marched past Zoro to lead the way. _Impudent shitty bastard!_ The cook opened the many doors that lead from the courtyard to his room, only stopping to scruff Zoro occasionally to stop him from getting lost. Finally he shoved the swordsman through his door.

Zoro looked at him with an unnerving clear gaze.

“Well then?” he asked.

Sanji kicked off his shoes and closed the door behind him. He walked around, using his matches to light a candle here and there. Finally, he turned on the waiting swordsman. In the few minutes it had taken him to get ready, Zoro had fallen asleep on the bed. _Typical._

Sanji moved stealthily forward until he was directly above Zoro, he leaned forward and started to undo the drawstring on Zoro’s pants. A strong hand snapped up and grabbed him by the wrist,

“What're you doing, ero-cook?” Zoro asked.

“Let go,” Sanji replied, shifting his weight forward to press down on the swordsman. Zoro’s grip relaxed and the cook pushed off him to break away.

“Put your arms above your head,” Sanji said.

Zoro’s eyebrows crept together but he slowly raised his arms, his muscles rippling in the flickering light. Sanji climbed onto the bed and straddled the swordsman, smiling to himself when he felt Zoro’s hard-on pressing into him.

“Now…” the cook said, one finger lazily trailing across Zoro’s chest, “stay perfectly still…”

The cook bent over, letting his lips graze Zoro’s hard brown nipple. He could taste the salt of fresh sweat on hot skin. He ground his hips down, enjoying the hiss that he drew from the swordsman. He slid one hand between their bodies and pulled the drawstring free again.

“I didn’t say we were done yet,” Sanji said, biting down on Zoro’s chest. He sucked at the skin, leaving red roses in Zoro’s dark flesh. Love bites, big ones.

The strong body below him was tense, Zoro had stopped moving completely and the cook could hear his slow, but slightly ragged breathing. The cook slipped one hand underneath the swordsman’s waistband and drew the fabric back to reveal Zoro’s cock. He pulled the fabric free, prodding Zoro to raise his hips by squeezing his ass. The muscles tensed in his hands and it made the blood rush to his groin.

“Zoro, roll over,” he said.

The swordsman turned and revealed his perfect ass as the cook finally freed him of his pants. Sanji kissed Zoro’s perfect cheeks one by one, tracing the dimples in the muscle with his tongue. He really did have the hottest body Sanji had ever had the pleasure of touching up...

Sanji kissed his way slowly up the swordsman’s back, pressing their bodies together. When his cock nestled perfectly between those firm globes he suddenly felt hopelessly overdressed.

He lifted his body from the swordsman and whispered in his ear, “Turn again.”

As soon as Zoro had moved, Sanji climbed on top of him, his fingers fumbling to undo the (now tangled) layers of fabric. Once it was finally unwrapped he threw it in a corner and started on the buckle on his belt. Zoro’s hands touched his and took over, triumphing over button and buckle alike in seconds and urging Sanji to stand with a guiding hand.

Sanji stood up and dropped his pants and then flicked them with a delicate kick onto a nearby chair. Zoro sat up and grinned at him, his features flickering in the candle light.

“Lay back down moss-head,” Sanji said, stepping forward and putting a firm foot on Zoro’s chest. He pushed the impudent swordsman back, sending him sprawling on the bed. Zoro lounged, one hand lazily stroking his cock like he was just drying the dishes.

“Don’t give me that sassy look,” Sanji said, crawling up to him.

He let his lips trail up the swordsman’s thigh, Zoro moaned softly when he hovered so close, puffs of hot breath caressing him. Sanji felt the heat of the swordsman’s body, he sprawled on top of the sexy chunk of muscle and tried to get comfortable, but there was a large obstacle in his way: Zoro’s cock kept digging into his stomach, twitching when he pressed against it. The friction of their bodies rubbing together was making Sanji ache. He ran his hand through Zoro’s mossy pubes and squeezed him firmly. The swordsman moaned and arched his back, struggling for more sensation.

“Stay still!” Sanji growled, using his legs to trap the bigger man.

“I can’t,” Zoro huffed in his ear, bucking his hips violently against Sanji’s grip as if to prove the point.

Sanji kept stroking, firm and even, “Stay still, Marimo…” Despite his warning, Zoro groaned and squirmed.

“Stop fucking rubbing me like that and I’ll stop moving,” the swordsman growled low and lusty and the heat between Sanji’s legs became almost painful.

The cook lifted his hands from the swordsman’s weeping cock and lowered his body down. He settled with Zoro’s hard-on pressing into his ass. The swordsman kissed him passionately, biting Sanji’s lips and pulled the cook closer, as hard and as close as he could. The blonde could feel Zoro's cock rubbing between his legs; he kissed Zoro back just as fiercely and angled his hips.

He groaned as Zoro slid inside him, filling him with heat. The friction between their bodies was intense, Zoro’s knuckles were white as he pulled the cook down. They fit together perfectly.  
  
The first rush of hormones and pure lust was incredible. Sanji had to be careful to take it slowly. The blonde started gently, rocking and feeling the solid weight inside him. He moaned as his body got used to Zoro's size, the swordsman made his eyes water the first time but he loved it so much. As long as he took it slowly to start with he’d be fine... he slid across the swordsman's stomach and bit his lip when the pleasure got too much.

A few deliciously slow thrusts prepared him for what was to come. When he felt his muscles start to relax around Zoro’s thick cock, he reared up, taking the swordsman deep. He controlled the angle and guided the swordsman’s brute force inside him. He could barely control the wild bucking strength. He used his legs to keep Zoro in place as he rode his hard body to the limit. He could feel the potence of hard muscles working and the powerful thrusts tore his body in two. He slammed himself down, his gasps getting lost in Zoro’s growls and their sweat running together.

Sanji struggled to keep control, pushing Zoro’s hands back above his head and holding him there. He used the force to drive even harder into Zoro’s chiselled body. Heat rose in waves from between his legs as he felt Zoro hit home. The swordsman was so big, every tiny movement made his body burn with raw passion and he gasped as Zoro pulled him down. Their bodies ground together and Zoro kissed his slick skin, holding the cook as he bucked wildly.

“ZORO! FUCK!” Sanji shouted, digging his fingernails into the swordsman’s shoulders and climbing his body to force Zoro deeper. The blonde’s vision blurred as he gasped and screamed, his body convulsing in waves of pleasure.  
  
Zoro took control.

He could feel the sticky heat of the cook’s orgasm between them, making Sanji slide fast above him. He could hear the blonde gasping his name when he slammed their bodies together and the feeling of Sanji’s muscles pulling tight as he came was pure heaven.

Zoro flipped the cook onto his back in one fluid motion, then buried himself deep in his tight heat. The perfect, lithe body writhed underneath him as Sanji panted to catch his breath. He could see both the cook's unfocussed eyes as his body trembled with the aftershocks of his climax. The swordsman kissed Sanji’s soft lips and let himself go, burying his face in soft blonde hair and coming hard to the sound of moaning and gasping hot breaths in his ear.

  
\---xxx---


	10. Perhaps

\---xxx---

The palace was lit up so bright; it shone like a star on the hill top. The small artificial lake in the front garden had hundreds of tiny boats with coloured candles floating on it and the reflections danced over the white marble of the palace and pushed the darkness all the way back to the darkest nooks in the rose garden.

It was the night of the Sultan’s monthly banquet.

Inside the halls it was just as bright as if it were day. Torches were lit along every corridor and servants dressed in flowing white robes and gold jewellery rushed from room to room adjusting, placing, stocking, planning and bossing like their lives depended on it.

The harem girls were all in their dressing wing, a huge hall full of mirrors, pools and perfumes. They were chatting excitedly and trying to pick out dresses that matched each other and the Sultan’s usual beaming golden attire. The fussed, brushed, preened, twitched at errant hems and complained that Zoro was not allowed into their private chambers. Why was life so unfair?

At least Sanji would be cooking for them. He was sweet but way too hung up on girls. _Obviously gay but who was going to tell him that? Not me while he makes such a gorgeous parfait that’s for sure!_ Perona offered to spice the evening up with a few negative hollows and was soundly told off by Robin, who was the only one who had the sense to take her seriously.

Nami lounged on a pink brocade couch in her chosen emerald green frock. She laughed and joked and cajoled with the rest, and all the time her mind was whirling - arranging, manipulating and putting the finishing touches on her greatest heist yet.

\---xxx---

Zoro stared blankly at the tapestry hanging on the wall behind the harem girl’s head. He couldn’t remember her name… Melanie, Melody… something like that. Either way, she was annoying. She had long curly red hair and eye lashes that were about a mile long. Her voice was too high pitched and she didn’t seem to need to breathe at all. He was trying to figure out how best to get away, when a familiar voice cut through Manity’s monologue.

“Ah, swordsman-san. You are enjoying the dinner?” Robin enquired politely. When Zoro didn’t reply, she continued, “Do you mind if I sit down?”

“No,” Zoro said. What did he care?

“Jasmine,” Robin said firmly to the annoying redhead, “there are some dishes that need to be presented to the Sultan waiting in the kitchen. The girl opened her mouth and then closed it again, scowling fiercely as she got to her feet. With one last long look, she turned and flounced off and before Zoro could blink there was another girl seated in her place; blonde this time.

“Now that we have a bit of quiet,” Robin smirked, “are you having a good time?”

Zoro just looked at her. She tilted her head like a bird and her eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

“I guess. It’s a bit… shirty,” Zoro explained, pulling at the elaborate ruffled silk shirt that he had been stitched into that afternoon. It itched at his neck and generally got on his nerves. Yet another reason to get out of here as soon as possible.

“It won’t be long now,” Robin nodded towards the centre table; “just the speeches and then you’ll be free. You have a big night tonight, ne?”

Zoro stared blankly. _Big night? What does this woman know?_ “What do you mean?”

“I’m sure that you will find out,” Robin said, before she floated to her feet in a cloud of fabric and wafted off into the room.

Zoro reached out to have another swig of sake. A pair of the biggest blue eyes he had ever seen met his glance. Was this blonde girl just going to stare at him?

“Zoro!”

The swordsman looked around trying to source the noise between the hubbub of music and voices.

“Zoro!” Nami hissed, as she leaned out from behind a pillar and beckoned him over.

_Here we go…_ Zoro thought, as he put his plate down and dodged the servants and dancing girls between them.

Zoro didn't know much about Nami's part of the plan, only what he had heard when he was spying on her and the cook in the garden. Sanji had told him a little more but not much. Despite Zoro’s offer to help, Sanji had said that they would figure it out themselves. All he had to do was go along with ‘anything Nami says’. This made Zoro nervous. What _exactly_ , Zoro had asked, might Nami ‘say’? But Sanji had just smiled and kept on blowing smoke rings.

In the end, the swordsman decided that he’d know it when he saw it… and he was definitely seeing it now.

“ZORO!!!” Nami shouted in a horse whispery voice, entirely defeating the point.

_I’m coming! Witch!_

He ducked behind her appointed pillar and scowled down at her, “What?”

“One of the girls has smuggled in a weapon, I’m sure of it!” she said, her eyes wide with concern. “I think that she means to harm the Emperor!”

_What the hell?_

Even though this sounded ridiculous, he was a bodyguard so he had to take it seriously. Also, Sanji had told him to do what the woman said. Her ridiculous plan, whatever it was, had to go off without a hitch. Zoro braced himself and put on his best stupid face.

_That stupid girl-crazy idiot._

Nami grabbed him by the ear and pulled him closer to her, “Well?!”

“Well, what?”

“What are you going to do? She has a concealed weapon!”

“I guess I’ll… take it off her…”

“Good,” Nami let him go, “It’s that blonde that was sitting opposite you at dinner.” She smiled sweetly at him. It made his skin crawl just a little.

He suppressed a shudder and made his way back to his seat at the table. The blonde girl was still there watching him eagerly. He approached her and stopped just behind her, closing off any possible avenues of escape.

“Miss,” he said, trying to figure out how eyes that big didn’t just fall out of her head, “I have to search you. Please stand up.”

The girl’s face split into a smile as wide as her doe-eyes, she leapt to her feet a little too quickly and fell in a giggling heap onto Zoro’s chest. She had clearly had a little too much to drink.

“You can search me,” she said, regaining her balance and straightening her dress. She smiled coyly and held her arms out towards the flustered swordsman.

  
_  
I can't believe that I actually have to do this._

  
  
He began to pat her down gently as professionally as he could given she was wearing a red dress that was pretty much see-through. He focussed his mind, just checking anywhere that a weapon might be concealed. Underarms, sides, arms, back, stomach, outer leg, inner thigh…

An ear splitting scream pierced through his concentration,

“You BITCH!!!”

Suddenly Zoro was surrounded by a flurry of purple fabric and a howling screeching noise that made his teeth ache. The blonde girl stared past him and met this blaze of fury head on, beginning to scream herself,

“Get away from him you ugly cow! You know he likes me better!!!”

Ah. The redhead with the curly hair was back.

Now he had one screaming banshee on one side of him and one on the other. The girl that he had just finished patting down was hanging off his arm as if to make a point. He just wanted to shrug her off and get the hell out of here but he was meant to be helping the cook. That meant he had to do what Nami said and he was pretty sure, now that he was in the middle of a screaming fight, that this was exactly what the witch had in mind.

_Does that mean I just have to stand here?!_

  
  
The muscles on his face twitched involuntarily as the redheaded girl hit a particularly grating note. Some more girls had come over. At first he thought they were trying to break it up but pretty soon they were also hanging off him. He was literally being pulled back and forth by about five spoilt drunk girls and the number was growing by the second. Broken dishes and shoes began to fly around his head as the screaming escalated into an all-out brawl.

Zoro stood, immobile in the middle of the wailing, undulating wave of breasts.

_Sanji,_ he thought, _I hope you can see this._

_Shitty sexy cook._

\---xxx---

Sanji stood in the foyer and adjusted his clothes one more time in the polished white marble. They were perfectly and exactly dishevelled. He had been hanging back after cooking the h’ordeuvres making a show of talking too loudly and swigging from a bottle of strong apricot brandy. Now was when it counted though, time to make Nami proud.

_Showtime._

He stumbled into the main foyer in front of the vault, headed south-west, came up against a vase that was at least 800 years old and stopped. Well, his feet stopped, the rest of him careened off in a completely different direction and finally, he came jarring to a halt in the middle of the room.

“You alright, cook?” one of the soldiers asked, a huge fellow with long purple hair.

Sanji half lifted his head and groaned in a deep rumble, “Ssssooorrrright.”

“Goo..” the guard began, as Sanji crumpled slowly to the floor.

“Oh Kami, why is it always on our shift?” the other guard grumbled. He was shorter, younger and blond, his face tanned by the desert sun. “I’m never doing a night run with you again I swear.”

“It’s not my fault! Anyway, why don’t we just leave him there? He’s got to move eventually,” the purple haired guard huffed.

Sanji moaned dangerously and thrashed about a bit on the ground, he waited until one of them – the younger one - got just close enough and with a startled squeak of, “Are you sure you’re alriiii!” the guard hit the floor.

“Don’t you touch me!” Sanji screamed, in his best dramatic boom. “Get orf me you… toucher! I don’t want to be.. not going… nowhere! Not nowhere! I want to stay here!” He thrashed about and tried to suppress a giggle as the guard he had just thrown got slowly and painfully to his feet.

“Look, that’s quite enough of that!” the big fellow shouted, “Don’t go making a fuss you idiot.”

“I’m not doing anything! He’s the one who is all _touching!_ Orf me!”

“Look here. Don’t make me have to do anything you’ll regret,” the big soldier grumbled.

“Oh,” the cook said, suddenly sitting up and then reeling just a little for effect, Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhoorry.”

“That’s quite alright, but if you’d please just leave th..”

“Sing with me!” Sanji shouted merrily and then he slowly slid to the floor again. He lay there, in a position that would have been punishing to anyone without his flexibility and groaned.

“I’m not carrying him, he might be sick,” said the bigger soldier.

“Never again. Mark my words,” the other man replied, as he hefted the cook up by his arms.

Sanji struggled and wriggled and kicked out.

“You’ll have to give me a hand, he’s a pain in the ass,” the younger guard complained.

“Ok. Ok.”

The other guard left his station and grabbed Sanji firmly around the ankles. Between the two of them, they managed to wrestle the shouting, wriggling, lurching bundle up the corridor and slowly out towards the living quarters.

_Mission complete._

\---xxx---


	11. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy is walking chaos in any universe! In this chapter Luffy goes all out, Zoro escapes from the harem girls and Sanji *almost* gets to rescue his Mellorine.

\---xxx---  
  


Zoro took a deep breath and let his eyes wander. At times like this, he found it best to meditate on the present. To remain in the moment but to focus on things that are not the giant pile of girl flesh attempting to grind him into the carpet.

Luffy, for example.

Tonight had been another perfect illustration of the boy’s ability to find the flaw in even the most well executed plan. One of the guards told Zoro - between gasped breaths - that it had taken a team of fifty men more than three hours to find Luffy in order to dress him for the banquet. When they finally did find him, he’d managed to destroy his handcrafted gold sash within a further five minutes flat. Then he’d swung on the tapestries, eaten the entire main course while it was still being delivered from the kitchen and sat in the decorative fountain just for good measure.

Zoro could feel hands gliding across his midsection, dozens of them caressing his clothes, massaging his skin

  
_  
Don't send them flying don't send them flying don't send them flying..._

Ok… focus on Luffy. What else did he do?

Yes, that was it. He’d screamed, ‘I _will_ have pie!!!’ while jumping in a fluffy dessert Sanji made especially that sounded like chrome pansy. The cook had _loved_ that.

It was hard to respect Luffy as a warrior when he acted like a monkey on a day out from the zoo… but it certainly kept him entertained. Soon it would be time to move on though, the swords on the walls reminded him of his destiny…

Oh Kami, the girls were really starting to squirm now… their bodies pressing closer and closer…

_Don’t send them flying don’t send them flying don’t send them flying…_

Focus… focus…

The swords.

The Sultan sure had an amazing place here; it was huge and decorated with the weapons employed by all the previous Sultans of this land. From where Zoro was standing, he could see three crooked scimitars, one sickle blade curved like a crescent moon and a set of three unwieldy broadswords. From this unusual vantage point, he could also see the hilt of a squat short sword on the wall of the entrance hall that he had never seen before. Was that some kind of tempered steel…?

A high-pitched whining cut through Zoro’s minute contemplations. It was kind of a rolling giggle of sorts, something that was familiar but difficult to place… with a sigh the swordsman returned from his happy place and surveyed the scene before him.

“Yohohoho!!!” Brook shouted, as he ran through the swordsman’s middle vision, his coat tails flapping in the faces of a dozen palace guards who were racing after him, trying to eject him from the palace.

That explained that part of the noise at least.

The rest of the din was still coming from the heaving mass of harem girls that had the swordsman pinned from all sides. He was not allowed to touch them, although they could obviously do whatever the hell they liked to him. The only exception was security, which was why, he supposed Nami thought it was so damn funny to make him search that blonde girl.

At least he knew now that she didn’t have a weapon. As she was one of the first girls to grab a hold of him she had been squashed to his side the entire time. Not only did she not have a weapon, she also wasn’t wearing any underpants. He hated being so damn observant sometimes.

Between snatches of ‘Zoro why don’t you come to the pool anymore?’ and ‘Zoro come and see my room, it’s really comfy’ he could hear the Sultan sighing indulgently and tutting at his many girls,

“Now, now ladies you can’t all have Sword Master Zoro, you need to save some energy for me, my petals…” His deep voice was soothing and perfectly calm, it sounded as if he was stifling a chuckle. No rescue from that corner then.

“Yohohoho!!!” Brook zoomed into view once more but this time he stopped directly in front of the swordsman. Several guards piled up around him and grabbed him from all sides. He was undeterred,

“Please, oh most beautiful ladies, may I see your panties?” the skeleton asked, earnestly.

The effect on the ladies was electric. As one they turned and as one they advanced upon the offending musician.

“Not all at once my lovelies!” Brook cried ecstatically, “If I was to see them all at once I’m sure my heart would explode from pure rapture… if I had a h…” but the last few words of his bad joke were smothered by the wave of women, each boldly clawing, forcing and fighting her way forward to be the first to hit the impudent skeleton with her shoe (or handbag, whichever was more pointy).

“Thanks Brook!” Zoro called cheerfully to the brawl as he stretched his muscles and enjoyed the tingling sensation as the blood started flowing to his limbs once more. Now that he was freed from his sweaty, jiggly prison he was able to investigate the real question.

Where the hell had Luffy gone?

\---xxx---

Sanji continued hurling his body from side to side, struggling, burbling and generally being a pain. Halfway up the path to the Eastern wing of the living quarters the two guards stopped. Some sort of commotion had broken out near the main rooms of the palace. The cook was dropped like a sack of potatoes,

“What is that noise?” the bigger man with the dark purple hair asked.

“How the hell should I know?” the smaller guard asked, more affection than malice in his voice.

Half a dozen guards came out of the side entrance and started running in every direction.

“Well, we could go and find out,” the larger man’s entire body inclined towards the noise – he was itching for a fight.

“We could… this guy will take half an hour to make it back to the palace in the state he’s in…” the blonde guy rolled Sanji over with his foot, the cook grumbled but didn’t move, “let’s go!”

And with that, they strode off to join the commotion.

Sanji watched them go out of the corner of his eye; they went up to another guard and chatted for a minute before the three of them made off toward the main banquet hall, away from Nami. _Good._

The cook stood up slowly and dusted off his clothes. They were horribly crumpled and stained. What if Nami saw him like this? She would think he was a savage!

He walked over to a seat sitting on the paved walkway between buildings and hid himself in the shade of a large pot plant, sitting with his good eye turned to the clearing. At least now that the guards were out of the way he could have a minute to dust himself off before his sweet Mellorine saw him… and have a cigarette. Zoro could hold the fort for five minutes, surely?

He was just about to light his well-earned smoke when the bush behind him rustled abruptly. He jumped half out of his skin but then regained his composure enough to turn slowly around. A huge white skull was inches away from his face.

He made a rather unmanly squeaking noise and jumped to his feet just in time for Brook to leap into the air and start waving madly,

“Don’t do that! You scared me!!!” the skeleton shrieked.

_I_ scared _him?_

“You were the one hiding in a bush,” Sanji grumbled as he retrieved his dirty smoke from under the bench where it had rolled when he dropped it in shock. It would do, he didn’t like to waste anything.

“You nearly gave me a hernia cook-san, even though I don’t have a… what is it you get hernias in again?” Brook tapped one finger on his bony chin and mused.

Sanji just stared at him.

“No need to be so glum, not on a night like this! You’re almost as bad as Swordsman-san.”

“So why is he so pissed off?” Sanji asked Brook. He leaned back and flicked his hair carefully out of the way before lighting his cigarette.

“He has no appreciation of the true beauty of the world,” Brook sighed in pity.

“What do you mean?” Sanji asked, turning his eyes on the skeletal face and seeking a confirmation where there could be none.

“All of the ladies… Ah,” Brook sighed in jealously at the memory, “they swamped him… they were climbing on him an..”

“WHAT!?!?!” Sanji screamed, biting his cigarette in half, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THEY WERE CLIMBING ON HIM???”

“They wouldn’t even give me a single pair of pants, and yet they were rubbing all over him… he has no taste, no ability to savour what is precious… it’s so sad I want to write a song about it…”

“FUCK THE SONG!” Sanji bellowed, leaping to his feet.

Pulsing with the power that can only be summoned by a jealous pervert, Sanji advanced on the palace like a desert storm.

He entered through a side door, winding his way through some of the back rooms of the kitchen and then into some of the Sultan’s reception and dining areas. He knew where Nami would be now; if he just took the next left instead of the next right… a series of turns and he would be at the other end of the long walkway where the Sultan kept his treasures. He could be there for her in case she needed anything…

She had told him to wait. She had told him to get the guards away and then go back to help keep the distraction running in the main banquet hall. One simple right turn.

He wanted to go there. He wanted to scream at Zoro for being a dirty meathead and make Nami proud of him by following instructions. It would be easier, it would be sensible and it would also be fun (mostly the Zoro screaming part) but in the end, what he wanted didn’t matter.

He turned left.

\---xxx---

It was renown throughout all the lands for miles. Countless Kings had seen it and made life hell for all their staff because they _had_ to have one just like it.

It was heavy with jewels and solid with precious metals, a thing of exquisite beauty that had a mythology all of its own.

And it was here.

Right here before her very eyes with the candlelight flickering all over it, it gleamed like golden fire. It made her giddy, dizzy with delight. The amount of money that this was worth was more than she could fit on any ship. More than she could hold in any spacious hold. This was it. The heist of her life. This could make or break her, she could have her island back by the end of the week or she could be locked in a dungeon until the day she died.

The golden fire burned bright in her eyes as she reached out to take the staff. It was so heavy, so perfect in every way…

And then suddenly, as if by magic, everything happened.

Luffy happened first. He struck like rubber lightning, sweeping into the hall in one long scream and bouncing Nami right off her feet and away down the corridor. She saw the world falling away. For a tiny instant, the world was a blur and then she was flying – a split second again and then white – bright, bright white.

In what seemed like the same instant, Sanji happened.

“Nami-chan! Your prince is here!” he threw himself towards his Mellorine and somehow managed to get his body just close enough to feel the wind as she was knocked out from under his grasp. His clutching fingers closed on thin air as she was borne away by the momentum of the giant furry lump that had hit her.

In the banquet hall, Robin smiled quietly to herself as she saw the moment unfold. _Interesting._ This was not quite what she had expected.

Zoro could feel the air shiver. Something was happening, something big. He stepped a safe distance away from the tables, drawing his swords without thinking. He felt constrained, bound and unable to move to his best ability… enough to make a crucial difference. The swordsman expanded the muscles on his chest and tore through the thin ruffled silk. He discarded the pile of expensive rags with a contented sigh.

_Much better._

\---xxx---

Luffy sat up. He saw Nami sitting in a pile of rubble. When did she take up sleeping on the floor like that? It looked like fun but she had never done that before.

“Nami! Wake up Nami!” he shouted, shaking her by the shoulders. Her head lolled a little from side to side but she started to groan. Great! It had worked!!!

“Nami! You have to come and see the crossbow me and Usopp made, he’s this amazing new weapon smith from a wonderful island covered in poisonous beasts, he’s a mighty warrior! This crossbow is amazing! It’s so much fun!!!”

Nami moaned and started to prop herself up, still swaying a little bit,

“Luffy… what are you…”

“We went to the armoury, it was just… sugoi!!!” Luffy waved his arms about madly, sending Nami reeling off in a different direction. Luffy caught her shoulders and held her steady, looking into her glazed eyes, “What’s wrong?” he asked innocently.

“What hit me?” Nami said, slowly.

Luffy shrugged, “I don’t know… I was just testing out this crossbow,” he scratched his chin in a fair imitation of thought, “then I climbed into it and then I was here. We should look for clues…”

Nami sighed and biffed Luffy on the head. It was satisfying and made a nice solid thump. Much better.

_Now..._

It was then that Nami’s world crumbled.

She noticed several things in very quick succession. 1) The huge Luffy shaped hole in the wall, which continued for several rooms. 2) The guards running through said hole and coming closer by the second. 3) The golden staff, lying on the ground half covered in rubble in front of her. And last of all, 4) The sound of Sanji’s voice full of horror and dismay coming toward her.

In a desperate rush of adrenaline, she decided her next move. She scrambled forward and grabbed the staff, shouting above the din, “Sanji, Luffy, get back!”

Then she pulled out her Clima Tact and began to summon the biggest rain cloud the inside of a desert palace has ever seen.

\---xxx---

The dining hall was silenced by an almighty boom, followed by the muffled sounds of masonry falling to the ground.

There was a collective in breath and before it was released, Zoro was off. He could see Robin running behind him out of the corner of his eye and with each passing corridor, more guards joined them.

They cleared a corner and Zoro saw Sanji at the end of the hallway, along with the errant son-of-the-Sultan. Behind Luffy, there was a gaping hole in the wall and the wall behind that one and the wall behind that one… and so on. He should have known that the noise would be Luffy.

Static electricity filled the air and Zoro felt the hairs lift up on his arms just before the lightning bolt struck. It tore up the hallway in front of him and he saw the silhouette of Sanji leaping away from the blast.

Zoro blinked as his eyes adjusted, Nami was standing under a cloud in front of the hole with some kind of knobbly weapon.

Che, whatever.

Luffy was standing right in front of her giggling, “It tickles!”

Sanji was striding up the corridor toward him.

“YOU!!!”

Zoro nodded. Yes, it was him. Was he meant to be surprised?

“YOU!!!!!”

“You want to tell me what your problem is or you just want to scream at me?” Zoro grumbled, putting his swords away carefully.

“Scream!!!” Sanji shouted, “How dare you abuse the faith and trust of such sweet delicate ladies!?!?”

“Sweet… ladies..?” the swordsman blinked in confusion.

“You know very well what I’m talking about!!!”

“Che, you make no sense cook,” Zoro shrugged.

“They were all over you and you JUST STOOD THERE,” Sanji spluttered.

“What was I meant to do, bake them a cake?”

“You let them just bump and grind all over you without doing a thing?”

Zoro started to get a bad feeling in the back of his neck. It was the kind of feeling he used to get before he got in trouble with his sensei, he knew it pretty well.

“Am I in trouble?” the swordsman asked.

Maybe this whole thing was more serious with Sanji than he thought. He didn’t really think that being groped against your will was cheating but if Sanji felt that they had something more… Zoro racked his brains; this whole touchy feeling thing was not really his thing.

“Damn right you’re in trouble! How humiliating for those delicate flowers to be embarrassed in public in that way! You afforded them no dignity, no respect!” Sanji drew a big huff for a fresh tirade and it was suddenly all too clear to Zoro.

“You’re jealous!”

Sanji didn’t care about the indecency of a public pile-on; he just wished it was _him_ at the bottom of it instead of Zoro.

Typical ero-cook!

“I am not!!! I am just pointing out to your thick-as-moss-Marimo head tha..” Sanji trailed off halfway through his sentence and turned to Zoro, “Where is your shirt?”

“Uh-n-oo,” Zoro shrugged.

“YOU TWO!!!” Nami shouted.

They both turned as one, suddenly aware of the chaotic scene in front of them. Nami was standing in the middle of a smoking pile of guards and Luffy was giggling and poking them.

“Come on, guys. We have to leave now!”

Nami could already see more guards pouring into the new corridor, the longer they stayed, the worse it would get.

“NOW!”

And with that, she scruffed both the offending men and dragged them out through a maze of side doors to the gardens.

Luffy followed. He’d eaten all the good stuff already anyway.

\---xxx---


	12. Over Heated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy happens to Nami's plan. Sanji gives his harem outfit one last fling. Zoro is happy. Very happy.

\---xxx---

“That’s her!” a voice behind them shouted. Guards poured out of the plaster haze covering the doorway and chased after Nami, Luffy, Zoro and Sanji. They ran at full pelt out into the garden, heading for the shadows where the glorious palace lights did not reach.

Nami was ahead pulling the rubber boy, her precious staff clutched to her breast.

“Hey, Sanji,” Luffy pondered out loud as he was jerked backwards, “why was it so dirty in there?” he nodded at Zoro with a knowing look in his eye, “You two should be more careful.”

“YOU DID THAT!!!” the pair shouted in unison as they bounced Luffy off the grass with a combo backhand. Nami blinked at her empty hand and then kept running as if her feet were on fire. Luffy tumbled awkwardly and then bounced back to his feet and continued as if nothing had happened.

“This is fun!” he shouted, “Why are we running?”

“They’re trying to catch us you idiot!” Sanji explained.

“Oh!” Luffy nodded eagerly, “Ok then.”

“Cut them off!” A booming voice shouted, as more guards poured around from the front of the palace. The line to the trees was cut off and guards circled their small band.

“We have to fight!” Nami shouted, shoving Zoro and Sanji out in front of her.

“Nami, I don’t wanna fight my dad’s soldiers, you know he’ll get mad,” Luffy whined.

“Luffy, please… I have to take this staff with me..” Nami said, urging him, begging him to go on. “…please.. there are mermen on my island that are killing my family, I have to give them this money or..” a single tear crept out from somewhere locked deep inside her and rolled down her cheek.

Luffy placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him, his eyes were bright and his idiotic smile made her feel hopeful again.

“ _Trust me_ ,” he said.

The guards drew closer.

“What are you doing?” Luffy asked the man with the tallest helmet.

“She’s a thief, Your Highness,” the man bowed politely but didn’t lower his spear.

“But she’s my friend,” Luffy explained.

“I can’t help it Your Highness, the Sultan has ordered that she be presented to him,” the guard said. He was sturdily built, just past his prime but he looked strong and loyal, he nodded at Nami, “Come with me.”

Before the girl knew it, she was being dragged back into the palace.

“My dad will understand!” Luffy called out to her as she was whisked up the corridor.

_Understand?_

She was not so sure.

\---xxx---

Nami was led into the banquet hall surrounded by sheepish guards that cringed when she glared at them. They corralled her up to the Sultan’s table and presented her, bowing.

Sanji hovered around the edges, ready to pounce and Zoro watched protectively from behind the rows of guards.

The harem girls all gaped with amazement and then began to gossip at the speed of light.

“Who would have thought?”

“After all he’s done for her!”

“I knew that she was up to no good…”

Nami cried quietly, thinking of all her family, her village. "It’s for my family..." she sniffed out.

_Stupid Luffy! Why had she trusted him!?_

A single deep voice roared over the chaos, the Sergeant at Arms,

“This woman is guilty of conspiracy to commit theft from the Royal Treasury, lock her up!”

A collective gasp echoed through the room and the guards advanced on the red head. Sanji lunged forward to snatch his Mellorine away but a voice as hard as stone stopped him in his tracks.

“ _No_.”

The voice was so calm, so certain; as if it had the weight of the whole universe behind it. In his corner of the room, somehow already hidden by a tower of empty plates and gold goblets, Luffy stood up.

The excited babble in the room fell to a hush and every eye watched him. He swept the rubbish aside and strode up to the red headed girl, his eyes shining.

“I’ll go.”

“What do you mean?” Nami hissed, trying to get him to shut up.

_Idiot!_

“I’ll go to your island. I will save your family. I know that I can do it.”

Nami looked up, her face wet with tears and flush with fresh rage, “You can’t do anything! They’ll kill you, there is nothing that anyone can do. You’d just get everyone killed you st..” Luffy lifted his prized straw-hat from his head and jammed it down firmly on her head.

“I’ll do it.”

Zoro looked at the skinny boy and felt a strength in him that he had never imagined. Long lashed, dark eyes looked up at the swordsman and Luffy fixed him in a steady gaze,

“You coming, Zoro?”

The swordsman rolled his eyes. This was not a step he had foreseen on his journey to be the greatest swordsman who ever lived. Fate always had its own ideas.

“Someone has to keep you out of trouble, right?”

Luffy faced Sanji, his solemn mask cracking in a show of youthful enthusiasm. “Saaaaanjjjiiiiiiiiiii…..”

“Yes Luffy?”

“Will you be my coooooooookkkk?”

Sanji laughed and addressed the room, taking advantage of the captive audience,

“Wherever a lady is in distress, Sanji chef-du-jour will be close at hand!”

He snuck a look at Zoro. The guy didn’t even blink. No smile, no frown. Nothing. But somehow Sanji swore that he could feel the energy radiating out of him, a wave as intense as a slap in the face. It had to just be wishful thinking but Sanji would have bet a month’s wages that the stoic Marimo head was ecstatic.

He felt a tinge of scarlet creep up his cheeks; it would be nice to live and fight with Zoro.

Luffy turned and shrugged off his golden robes, “Father?”

The Sultan faced his baby boy and wondered where the tiny child with the sweet, wide eyes had gone. Now he was strong, fierce and determined, but the heart… his shining heart did an old man proud. This girl had lost everything and his son had reached out to her, despite her bad intentions he was standing by her. He was truly a man at last, making his own decisions about right and wrong.

“My Lord,” Robin bowed until her head nearly touched the banquet table.

“Yes, my learned-candy-floss,” the Sultan replied, never one to let state ceremony interfere with his personal quirks of expression.

“I feel that I must take this opportunity to express my desire to pursue a course of archaeological exploration and research in the waters further afield,” she said it so quickly and quietly that many missed it, but the Sultan could see it simply in the tilt of her head, the line of her chin.

“You also wish to go to sea?” he asked softly, tilting her head to look into her guilty, yet hopeful eyes. “You know that I could never deny you anything. You have given me more than was ever my due,” he smiled and gestured to the maitre de, ordering more wine.

“As to you, Luffy,” he said louder, turning to his son. Luffy was so tense, his whole body was practically a question mark. His feet twitched and hovered and it looked like he might actually take off.

“..yesss!?????” Luffy replied.

“I think that we have all had quite enough excitement for one night, don’t you?” - the Sultan was a wise man, so he didn’t leave Luffy enough time to reply -“I shall deliver my decision tomorrow, my son. I have many things to consider,” he gave a definite ‘and-that’s-the-last-word-on-it’ nod and then began to issue orders for the packing up of the party, the patching of the palace walls and the sleeping arrangements for the night.

Luffy stood in front of him with relative patience and bounced on the heels of his feet,

“Yes, my son?” the Suntan asked indulgently.

“You can’t send Nami to prison! She didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Well… that remains to be seen Luffy…” the Sultan started, Luffy stared up at him with big brown eyes burning with righteous indignation, “Ok, ok. She’s detained in her quarters until further orders,” the big man sighed. “And you,” he levelled stern eyes on his son, “go to bed before you cause any more havoc!”

“I have to wait until tomorrow?!”

“Yes.”

“Unfair!!!”

The Sultan waved towards the vault of the ceiling, inviting any passing Gods to rescue him from this chaos.

“Everyone to bed, we have much to do in the morning!”

The swordsman watched as Nami was taken away. Luffy raged, pacing silently while Sanji chased after his Mellorine,

“You will be fine, my sweet… Luffy, Zoro do something you molluscs! I will not let anyone harm you!” with a parting glare Sanji ran off, admonishing the guards for being brutes and generally getting in their way as much as he could.

With one last long look at the direction Sanji had disappeared, Zoro stepped out of the main hall and went to secure the grounds. No use dwelling on baka-cook. Nami would be fine until the morning and anyway, he always did a final patrol before turning in and with the dramatic turns the night had taken, he decided to be extra vigilant.

Striding down the hall he belatedly realised he was still naked from the waist up, so he grabbed a shirt from the guards’ quarters and then continued on his way. The first thing that he saw when he walked out into the garden did not take much of his warrior training to pick up. It was a pale, almost luminous bone, jutting out from a hawthorn bush.

“Brook, get out of there,” he sighed.

“Ah, Swordsman-san! How is it that you come to be here so late? I was just trying to find my way..”

“Save it,” Zoro cut him off, “how long have you been here anyway?”

“I was born many hundreds of years ago and when I was young my first love was o..”

“In the garden. How long have you been in the garden?”

“Most of the night I guess. Long enough to know that I would love to sail the seas with Captain Luffy, can you imagine it? Sanji would cook delicious delicacies, I could play sweet music to liven our souls… and travelling with those pretty girls!” Brook waves his arms with enthusiasm and Zoro ducked and changed the subject,

“How do you know Sanji?” he asked.

“Well, I see him at one of the *cough* bars in town,” Brook explained.

Zoro didn’t ask. He felt like it might be better not to. Instead, he tried a different tack, “So what is with ero-cook and that Nami woman? Why is he so pissed off?!”

_Yo-ho-ho!_ Brook had been waiting for this question! If he had a face, he would have smiled.

“Funny you should say that,” Brook observed.

“Why?”

“Oh, nothing I think. Why do you ask?” Brook replied.

“He was so huffed up he was puffy,” Zoro grumbled.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Brook hinted. It all suddenly made sense, them sneaking about in the gardens, Sanji concerns about Zoro’s mood. _Obvious!_

“Alright, I will!” Zoro announced.

“Well, good luck then,” Brook said, earnestly. Love was not such an easy thing, after all.

“Thanks. You know I’m going to have to kick you out now.”

“I guess so,” Brook would have gazed with a level stare, if he had any eyes.

“You going to leave easily?”

Zoro hoped the answer would be no.

“Can I have some panties?”

“No.”

“Then no.”

_Wonderful._

Zoro stood up and drew his swords, “Do you want to settle this like a man?”

“Not really, can we have a dance off?” Brook enquired.

One mossy green eyebrow twitched, “No.”

The swordsman suppressed a grin and hustled the taller man toward the gates.

“Can I just see the dancing girls?”

“ _No_.”

“I just want to have one tiny..”

“No!”

“I just want to hold them and breathe in the..”

“OUT! NOW!!!”

Zoro shoved Brook out the west gate with strict instructions to the guards stationed there to keep him out and tell the others.

_Che, what a ridiculous guy. Kind of reminds me of Sanji in some ways…_

Zoro walked slowly back up the garden path. He took in the sweet jasmine-scented spring breeze, and enjoyed the cool night air taking the heat of the stuffy hall out of his skin. He did one last circuit around the palace proper and checked that everyone was where they should be. The Sultan had retired with three harem girls, so it would probably be pretty late when he finally emerged tomorrow… all the guards were at their stations…

Zoro walked and let his body take him where it wanted; night walking always cleared his head. He let his mind wander as well, soothed by the sounds of the palace bedding down and crickets in the bushes, frogs in the ponds… It would be good to travel with Luffy and fight the mermen on Nami’s island. He could fight towards his goal and still see Sanji, eat his food, laugh at his bad jokes, touch his soft pearl skin…

_He might still be awake._

\---xxx---

“Let me in,” Zoro said, his grip on the vines by the window was secure, but he could feel them slowly pulling away from the wall.

The cook was having a cigarette near the window when Zoro had managed to climb all the way down to his room from the roof. It had taken a little longer than he had expected because the stupid building was the wrong shape.

“Why?” Sanji mused, his eyes twinkling as they passed across Zoro’s precarious perch, “Don’t you have innocent young girls to molest?”

He just was not going to let it go.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, bastard!” Sanji shouted, puffing his chest to its indignant fullest.

“Come on, at least let me in,” the swordsman said, trying not to remind Sanji that he was just going along with Nami’s stupid plan anyway. It’s not like he wanted to be mauled and squashed by those noisy, pointy, sickly smelling women!

Sanji finally stepped back and Zoro swung into the room.

The cook was still wearing his white chef’s outfit from the dinner. It was as pure as snow; how he managed to keep it that way was beyond Zoro’s comprehension. Sanji was still smoking, his head tilted back and his eyes half closed. He let the smoke trickle from between his lips in a thin stream; he didn’t look worried at all. Since he had last seen the blonde, his confidence had returned. Sanji had this quality though, to seem relaxed when he was really on edge. Zoro had seen it before and he was not going to fall for it this time. Even though he knew that the cook was worried, it looked like he had decided to try and ride it out. Here, together, they could wait out the night.

“What do you want?” Sanji asked flatly, looking washed out by the white clothes and the moonlight.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing. Nami is fine. She demanded some exotic drink and the guards are running scared trying to find it, one of my sentries told me.”

Sanji nodded absently, his eyes fixed on some invisible point in the distance.

Zoro leaned a little closer; the smell of the cigarette smoke had become oddly arousing, forever associated with his hot harem blonde…

“I know that she’s fine… it just seems. Fuck it. I just want it to be tomorrow already,” Sanji groaned.

“Are you ok?”

“What? Are you going pansy on me, Zoro?”

The swordsman smiled, _you wish._

“You look sick, I’m trying to be supportive of my nakama, shit-head,” Zoro huffed.

“Sorry,” Sanji blew his last smoke ring and put the cigarette out, “it’s probably just the outfit,” he chuckled to himself, “white isn’t really my colour.”

Zoro remembered the concubine’s outfit. Loose see-through pants, always bare chest and stomach. It was great that Sanji had more self-esteem but the swordsman felt like he had been a bit short-changed in the bargain.

He thought that he should tackle the subject with a little tact and diplomacy.

“I liked your harem outfits better,” he said, with a cursory nod to emphasise the point.

“I bet you did, pervert,” Sanji grinned and threw a wad of fabric at Zoro’s head – his dirty, wet apron.

Zoro glared, he felt suddenly deprived. Why did he have to put up with this mouthy shit-cook? Where was his hot harem boy in silks?

“Why’re you grinning, Marimo?” Sanji asked.

“I was wondering what happened to my sweet harem girl,” Zoro taunted.

“She asked me to come over and kick your seaweed-astro-turf-lawn-clipping covered head,” Sanji replied, the toe of one shoe tap, tap, tapping on the floor.

“At least she would have asked you in a sexy as hell outfit,” Zoro grumbled.

“You want a sexy as hell outfit?” Sanji asked softly, his eyes flashing.

Zoro looked at him blankly as if he was a total idiot.

“Well?” Sanji prompted, his voice low and dangerous, smooth as silk.

“Yeah,” Zoro huffed the obvious.

Sanji continued to look at him with an expression that seemed to be on the turn. The swordsman braced himself for whatever wild sex or violence was to come.

_Stupid unpredictable sexy idiot._

“You’re going to owe me one…” the cook said, the corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly.

“Ok, so I owe you one,” Zoro shrugged, making sure his fingers were close to Wado’s hilt.

Sanji hovered, seeming to be on the edge of saying something further. Instead he huffed dramatically and stormed away.

Zoro was left standing in the cook’s room. It was covered in recipe books and neat piles of clothing. Sanji had disappeared into another side room; this place was really quite big. Zoro just had a bunk in the sleeping quarters with all the other guards.

The swordsman strolled up and down the floor, admiring the canopy above the bed. It looked like it would be strong enough to do chin-ups off. That and other things…

“Oi! Marimo!”

Zoro turned and the sight that greeted him was enough to knock the wind out of his lungs.

The colour, green. Fabric soft as silk, clinging, gently caressing every perfect curve. The hard line of firm pectorals soaring above ripples of cream stomach muscles. A haze of blonde hair, framing moist lips, one perfect round eye of startling blue.

Sanji walked toward him, one crooked finger beckoning.

“You like that, Marimo?” He swayed his hips as he moved closer, the coins and hoops of gold he wore clinking together. Those tantalising too-low pants were back and they were about the only thing of substance about the cook’s hot harem outfit. The top was just open floating green, baring the cook’s milk-white muscles.

Zoro put one hand behind Sanji’s head, ruffling his pale corn silk hair. The other hand, he planted in the small of his back, to pull Sanji closer. Zoro kissed down the pale, smooth neck, breathing in the heat of Sanji’s soft clean skin. It was a scent the made Zoro’s heart pound and made all the blood in his body rush to one destination. He tasted the creamy skin, warm musk with a hint of salt…

Sanji sighed a little and then stepped away, breaking Zoro’s grasp.

“That’s a yes? If we are going to do this, then I’m in charge. I am a professional, after all.”

“You think that makes a difference?” Zoro scoffed. He knew that he was just fine when it came to bedroom technique; he’d never had any complaints.

“Of course it does, idiot,” Sanji moved his achingly perfect body closer again and that intoxicating smell wafted back.

“Mmmm-kay,” Zoro muttered. He really didn’t care anymore.

Sanji pulled the swordsman closer by his hips and whispered to him, tiny hot breaths puffing onto his ear, “You have no idea.”

Zoro’s earlobe was pulled into a hot wet mouth, sending shivers all the way to his toes. Sanji pulled him closer and the gentle, delicious pressure on his groin made him moan into soft blonde hair. Sanji kissed him, once briefly and then again, letting Zoro taste the sugar of his mouth and bite hungrily at his lips. Zoro loved the feeling of the tender, willing flesh between his teeth…

Sanji pulled away from the kiss but left his hands stroking Zoro’s stomach over his shirt, hovering so close to his begging nipples and then away again. The swordsman looked the cook in the eyes and Sanji grinned, “See, you’re undisciplined, moss-head.”

Sanji’s fingers skirted his collar bones, popping the top button of his shirt. He left a trail of hot kisses down Zoro’s throat and let his lips follow his fingers. With each button popped he kissed, caressed and licked Zoro’s chest. When he reached the first nipple, he ran his wet tongue around it and blew gently, making it harden in the cool air. The cook’s tongue flicked across the delicate tip and then he took it in his mouth, sucking slowly, teasing with each flick and slow stroke. Once he had finished, he kissed across Zoro’s chest to repeat his ministrations on the second nipple.

Zoro moaned as Sanji’s hands went even lower, brushing against him with agonising softness as he undid the final buttons and sent the shirt fluttering to the floor. The cook sunk to his knees and the hot kisses moved on, getting lower and lower, the wet heat making Zoro groan as nimble teeth pulled his tender flesh.

“I want you to lie on the bed,” Sanji said, his voice raspy and slightly breathless.

Zoro moved quickly, he stretched out on his back and watched Sanji through the canopy of the bed. The cook stretched, his luxurious body twisting in the flickering light. Then he began to undo the many clasps that held on the exotic jewellery, he watched Zoro intently as he took off each piece and dropped it to the floor. Finally, Sanji’s searching hands began to move across his own body. He traced circles across his stomach, loosening the folds of light fabric, his knowing fingers applying more pressure here and there. Sanji’s breathing became more heavy, as he ran his hands up his sides and slid his fingers across his shoulders, sending the green shirt rolling to the floor. Finally, he looked Zoro in the eyes and slowly plunged one hand below the waistline of his pants.

“I like to lie in bed and think of you Zoro, the way you would touch me…” he bit his lips as his hand moved out of view, then drew it back slowly, “…all the things that I want to do to you…” his hand emerged and stroked slowly up his chest, tweaking nipples as it went.

Sanji climbed onto the end of the bed and crawled slowly towards him, lips red and slightly parted. The cook kissed his toes, gentle kisses, almost tickling at first but then… Zoro liked the hot breath on his feet, the wet heat of Sanji’s mouth sucking each toe in turn... The swordsman put his hands above his head and ground his hips into the mattress, fisting the sheets to stop from doing anything stupid.

_Why the hell did I think he should be a cook? He’s so damn good at this._

The hot lips left his toes and then firm hands were running up his legs over his trousers, gentle caresses spiralling ever higher. Blonde hair followed and in an instant, Sanji was straddling him. Zoro’s whole body twitched with the urge to thrust up as Sanji’s weight pressed down on his cock. The blonde snickered and shifted his hips, grinding down. Zoro tore the sheets he was holding clean down the middle and pulled the cook into an embrace.

The taste of Sanji’s lips was like a drug, the more he had, the more he wanted. Sanji returned his fierce kisses, pressing him into the pillows and making him growl with lust. The cook’s fingers flicked across his chest, lightly pinching his nipples and then going down. Sanji’s kisses moved down his throat, “Lift your hips,” the cook huffed into Zoro’s chest.

_Anything for you…_

Hands reached for the buttons of Zoro’s pants and he obeyed his instructions, relaxing into Sanji’s touch and letting the professional take over.

\---xxx---


	13. Satin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cook relives his concubine past and a noble swordsman acts as a distraction.

\---xxx---

The kiss lasted an eternity. Zoro was in a world of lust and sweat, lost under a cascade of corn silk hair. He lost his sense of time, he lost his sense of direction and he lost his pants.

Nimble fingers undid the buttons and eased the fabric of Zoro’s trousers over his hips, tugging it past his knees. With a few deft caresses by Sanji’s soft hands he ended up naked, spread-eagled on the huge satin bed; completely exposed to whatever the cook had in store for him.

Covered only in a thin sheen of sweat, Zoro silently egged Sanji on. He didn’t know what the cook had planned but he _wanted it._

The said cook was standing at the foot of the bed, casually throwing Zoro’s underwear over his shoulder. Sanji blew him a kiss and walked up to the bed, his hands running tenderly up his chest. His hair was slightly ruffled, a few errant strands catching the candlelight and gleaming gold.

So far it wasn’t so bad… Sanji was his glorious self, long long legs and perfect muscles all around. The green of his harem pants set off the bronze of his skin, blessed by the desert sun. _Very sexy._ His attitude was exciting too, Zoro never knew what to expect. Sanji was hot one minute and raging cold the next. He was the definition of a temperamental blonde.

The swordsman was pleased with his restraint. Despite Sanji partially stripping off and playing with himself, Zoro had managed not to tear the cook’s remaining clothes off and pin him to the floor.

Undisciplined?! He would show the cocky target-brow!

Zoro lounged back and looked at the canopy. It was composed of lots of see-through bits of material in complementary colours all kind-of knotted together. There had to be some kind of fancy name for it, but to Zoro it just looked like one big-ass knot. He willed himself to silence and tried not to listen to certain parts of his anatomy that were loudly making their own plans…

He would not give in to his ever-present desire to tear the flimsy fabric from around Sanji’s hips, throw him over the nearest sofa and fuck him senseless.

He would let this sexy harem boy show off his skills. He needed a distraction from the situation with Nami, and Zoro was more than happy to provide one.

How hard could it be?

He closed his eyes and felt the smooth sheets beneath his rough skin. As nice as it was to lie here in bed, Sanji seemed to be taking a while… Zoro looked down past his feet to see the cook pouring some lotion into the palm of his hand,

“Well?” Zoro huffed impatiently.

“Now…” Sanji slid up the bed and spilt the lotion on Zoro’s stomach; some kind of oil it seemed, “I’m going to play a little game with you, Marimo.”

Zoro propped himself up on one elbow, watching Sanji’s hands work as he rubbed the oil into Zoro’s dark chest muscles. Fingers explored his nipples, his pecs and travelled down his stomach, awakening certain parts of him that were getting louder in their plans by the second.

“Yeah? What sort of game?” The swordsman smirked. Sex games could be good.

“You have to stay completely still, no moving at all.”

What sort of a game was that?

“That doesn’t sound very fun,” Zoro ran the tips of his fingers up Sanji’s arms, fighting the urge to pull him back into an embrace.

“Well I think it’s going to be fun.”

Fun to lie around doing nothing like a barnacle? Is this the type of thing that the wealthy were doing in bed these days?

“So?” Zoro demanded, lifting his head up from the copious pillows.

“So you’re doing it!” Sanji said, with a manly gasp of indignation (which, to Zoro, sounded a lot like a squeak).

“Ok, ok…” the swordsman laughed as the cook turned slightly pink. He was so passionate and determined; so keen and over-zealous. “Whatever. I didn’t know that you liked starfish,” Zoro teased.

“You can’t do anything right, so it’s better if you stay still,” Sanji snapped. The cook leaned his weight over Zoro and pressed down on his naked oiled body, not enough to cause any discomfort, just enough to make a point. It was a sexy move, but one that said ‘do as I say,’ for Zoro of course, this made it twice as hot.

“Baka-cook,” Zoro muttered, admiring the lines of Sanji’s bared torso. His body was so finely toned, not a single inch of fat – a study in agility and strength. After dragging one appreciative finger over the sinuous muscles, Zoro let his body relax into the bed and wondered what Sanji had in store for him.

_Idiot had better not try anything weird..._

More warm oil was poured onto Zoro’s stomach and he could feel Sanji’s practised hands begin to rub the lotion into his skin. He opened his eyes just a crack and the cook was naked - how he managed to get the last of his clothes off silently Zoro would never know - Sanji leaned over and allowed his arms to get covered in oil and make contact with Zoro’s sensitive skin, then he pressed their chests together… the warm oil made Sanji’s movements smooth as silk as he rolled his naked body over Zoro’s and lay down beside him, their legs entwined. Sanji’s fingers caressed the muscles of his stomach, hovering closer to his straining erection.

Sanji moved down steadily, dragging his oiled muscles against Zoro’s most sensitive parts. Once he had got the groan that he wanted to hear, the cook lifted his body to hover provocatively. He moved his mouth silently closer, breathing teasing puffs of air onto Zoro’s oiled cock.

Zoro closed his eyes and tried not to think about all of the things that he wanted to do to the cook right… _now…_

The cook’s fingers sunk between Zoro’s legs, starting at his knees and drawing slowly higher. The swordsman tensed just a little and the cook responded, his second oiled hand stroking a reassurance. As elegant fingers massaged Zoro’s concerns away, he remembered how much pleasure Sanji could really give… and lifted his hips off the bed. Sanji grinned and kissed Zoro’s pink tip as his fingers stroked up Zoro’s thigh. The swordsman could feel the warmth as the fingers lightly rimmed his opening and then stroked up his leg again, the teasing movements making him wet and oily. Sanji’s lips were closing around his tip and he slowly sunk back to the bed letting the sensation wash over him.

The cook’s lips were soft and wet, tight one minute and giving way to gentle licking the next. He was writhing on the bed as the cook took him deep when he felt the fingers push inside him. Sanji was gentle, he could feel the long fingers, solid and slick but there was no pain. They slid into him without protest, his back arching through pure instinct – his body riding the rush of pleasure and craving more.

Sanji probed firmly, teasing with his fingers and driving deeper when his movements elicited the moans that Zoro knew he loved so much. The swordsman tangled his fingers in the soft gold bolts of Sanji’s hair and moaned deeply, with the cook’s movements pressing his shoulders in to the soft pillows. The candlelight gleamed on Sanji’s naked flesh, beads of sweat slowly forming on his bronzed skin...

Zoro wanted to reciprocate, to sink his calloused fingers between the perfect globes of Sanji’s ass. It was so hard to just lie here, when all he could see was those gorgeous dimpled curves gleaming in the candlelight right before his eyes. Zoro slid his hand down Sanji’s back but the cook swatted it away, pressing his fingers in that glorious spot.

_Oh, ero-cook… that is not helping._

“Sanji… Sanji…” he huffed out, as the cook slid deeper, rolling his knuckles and making Zoro’s cock twitch, “ _I want you now_."

Sanji lifted his head slowly, his tongue tracing a rough wet circle around the head of Zoro’s tender erection. He took a minute to absorb the sight of the ruffled and spread-eagled swordsman. Zoro was naked, his best look. All oiled muscles and desperately spread legs, his manhood straining majestically above his chiselled stomach and making Sanji’s insides quiver. Zoro was a man who was born to be naked and horny; he looked tousled and raw, wild and sexy. Finally, Sanji lifted his red mouth from Zoro’s equally red cock,

“Then take me,” the cook whispered, licking his lips as he sunk back into the satin sheets. He angled his body in the light and the shadows caressed his every contour. He could show off his curves to perfection with the clinging fabric of the sheets showing his slender waist and forever-legs… but all Zoro saw was the muscles, the long strong bones. Shins that would never break, shoulders that could bear any load. A man who was proud and fierce and bloody – a warrior.

All of Sanji’s fears and self-abasement was gone as he lay, legs spread with a look so smug… it was a face that belonged to a Prince, not a prostitute, the face of a man who had everything and damned well knew it.

“How are you so fucking hot?” Zoro mumbled as he buried his mouth into Sanji’s soft hair, finding his neck and biting it softly.

“Don’t know, how are you so fucking dense?”

Zoro growled and fixed one hand firmly on Sanji’s hip. Before the cook could protest, Zoro had swung himself to the covers, rolling the cook on top of him.

“Shut up and fuck me,” Zoro said, trying to look grumpy. He used the abrupt words to cover the feelings that he couldn’t express. He didn’t know why he wanted Sanji inside him, but it was something more than just lust.

“My pleasure…” Sanji grinned and moved his upper body, accommodating Zoro’s arms with ample room for thrashing.

Just for an instant, Sanji’s confidant demeanour slipped, “Are you sure you want..?” The cook asked, his voice trailing off hesitantly.

_Stupid sweet idiot._

“I’m not going to say it twice,” Zoro huffed, prodding the cook with his erection.

Sanji leaned over and kissed Zoro gently, Zoro responded by biting his lips, hard and pulling Sanji’s body closer.

“Now… now…” Sanji chastised. He slid his hand between Zoro’s legs and moved them apart; Zoro encouraged him with groans as Sanji explored all his favourite places. Zoro felt Sanji’s fingers plunge into him again as the cook rolled his lean muscled body on top. For a brief, glorious minute, Sanji’s cock rubbed his as the cook massaged him from the inside. He let his head fall back onto the pillow and groaned gutturally as the fingers found their mark.

“You sound good…” Sanji whispered.

Zoro could feel the solid presence of Sanji’s fingers withdraw, replaced by the softer but much larger insistence of the cook’s heat. Wet with oil, Sanji was pure delight; the swordsman shifted his hips in welcome and kissed the cook with gasping eagerness. Sanji’s fingers moved to Zoro’s cock, slowly pumping to ease the tension as he slid deeper into the swordsman. Zoro moaned and pulled Sanji closer, squeezing down on him and making Sanji stop mid-stroke.

“Why are you so… fucking… tight…?” Sanji gasped into Zoro’s ear, still frozen on the spot.

Before Zoro could think of an answer, Sanji thrust deep, he kissed Zoro fiercely and drew his hips back, moving one leg and driving his knee into the bed to get traction. Zoro felt his ass being raised off the mattress and put his hands back to brace himself on the bed head. The intensity of Sanji’s movements was exquisite, his whole body tingled with the rush of each thrust and every tiny feeling – the movement of the bed, the heat of Sanji’s body, the sharp points of his nails – was almost too much. So much sensation, so much pleasure that it was almost pain, a wave of longing, of desire magnified by the heat of Sanji inside him.

“Why are you so fucking rough?” Zoro gasped as the cook pushed him back into the pile of bedding his elbow locked on the bed head and he came to a stop, he could feel their hips grinding together and Sanji’s cock pressing hard inside him. The sweat between them was making the bed hot and sticky as Sanji lifted him higher and higher off the mattress.

“You like… me rough…” Sanji thrust harder, driving his point home.

Zoro could feel the cook raking his insides, harder than he thought his body could withstand but all it wanted was more, he could feel the rawness of his insides, but he just wanted Sanji harder. He dug his fingernails into Sanji’s hips and put his own strength into the stroke, two bodies working in concert, driving together like a storm.

Beyond talking, they let their bodies communicate, pulling and pushing and moving with each other to get more friction, more feeling… Sanji’s hands on Zoro’s shoulders, pulling him down, driving him on… Sanji’s gasping was becoming erratic but Zoro never tired, he opened his body to the onslaught, letting the cook’s hardness pierce him, letting the strong body take over. He had never let a lover take him so completely, never opened his body so wide or felt so naked, so raw with lust and need. As the heat built inside him, he could feel Sanji tense; his thrusts became harder, slower, more desperate with heat and force.

Sanji’s nails dragged down his chest as he ground himself in to the swordsman with all the strength of his deadly legs. Zoro felt the cook’s hard cock bump along the ridges of his insides and shudders of pleasure like he had never known rocked him deeply. As the cook pressed in, he felt the heat as Sanji came, swearing and cursing, all fire and passion. The final thrust sent Zoro over the edge, the heat and force of Sanji’s orgasm and the hot gasps in his ear… as Sanji collapsed, Zoro convulsed with pleasure, writhing around the hot pulsing that impaled him.

Finally his body ceased to twitch and Zoro’s breathing returned to normal. He blew a few fine strands of blonde hair from his face and laughed at the top of Sanji’s head.

“What now, Marimo?” Sanji asked, his voice dry but affectionate, leaving his body just where it was, still definitely inside Zoro.

Zoro pulled the cook close and in the process rubbed his cock across Sanji’s now-wet stomach.

“Don’t do that, now it’s everywhere,” Sanji complained, still huffing gently from the force of his orgasm.

Zoro pulled him closer to enjoy the sweet puffs of Sanji’s breath on his cheeks; he nuzzled through the haze of soft blonde hair and whispered in Sanji’s ear,

“I like it dirty.”

“I bet you do. Ugh! I’m all sticky…”

“Sorry,” Zoro said, looking deep into sky blue eyes.

_So not sorry._

“Did you just apologise? You must be sick, Marimo,” Sanji teased.

“You’re right,” Zoro said gravely, waiting long enough for Sanji’s cocky expression to change, “Never again.” The swordsman grinned at the cook’s puzzled frown and moved his body, gently separating the two.

“I’m sure that there will always be next time, a slut like you has to have their fill,” Sanji grinned at the inherent irony of the joke and still made no move to leave Zoro’s arms.

Zoro snorted gruffly at this rude suggestion and hugged Sanji close to him.

“Nothing to say to that, Marimo?” Sanji muttered, sleepily, always keen to get the last word.

“Shut up and go to sleep,” Zoro growled, holding Sanji in a vice-like grip.

“But I want to have a cigarette at least… Zoro?” Sanji said loudly, but he was too late. The room was filled with nothing but the smell of summer jasmine mixed with sex, and the sound of Zoro snoring.

“Stupid Marimo,” Sanji said to the candlelit room.

Nami… Will she really be ok? The Emperor might be generous, but she had tried to steal one of his most precious relics…

Sanji sighed and tried to move, Zoro pulled him even closer. Pretty soon the idiot would be cutting off his circulation. The cook smiled despite himself at the sight of Zoro’s sleeping face. He looked dumb as ever. And happy.

It was hard to worry when Zoro was here.

_When did I become so reliant on the idiot anyway?_ Sanji huffed and grumbled, loosening one arm and finally reaching his cigarettes.

He put one slender white stick between his lips and lit up with a lighter he had produced from a very practised nowhere.

_Stupid Marimo._

But between Zoro and Luffy, somehow it seemed like everything would be all right. He felt like a hopeless fool for putting so much faith in them. They were both idiots who relied on brute force, not like his Nami-swan… and her plan had failed. It was stupid. It was stupid and idiotic and he would lecture himself a lot when this was all over but right now…

With all of them together…

He was sure they could do anything.

\---xxx---


	14. Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter Aiiiiii! I still have a little epilogue to post so technically second last but it’s the last *proper* chapter, ey XD I hope you enjoyed the chaos! Thanks so much for reading :D

\---xxx---

  
Sanji had nightmares that night.

  
  
The faint taint of sweat tinged the air as he fisted the sheets, tossing and turning and groaning just softly, mumbling words that Zoro couldn’t hear. The swordsman wrapped one protective arm around the shaking blonde and wished for the thousandth time that he could fix all his problems. It was a stupid whim. As if anything like that could work… He hated to admit it, but it was bizarrely comforting for him to feel so close to another person after being fiercely independent for so long.

  
  
Not that the cook would accept his protection, he was more likely to erupt in a towering volcano of indignation – but that could be good too…

  
He didn’t want to be a hero anyway; even here holding the blonde in his sleep, he scoffed at the idea. He wanted to be an anti-hero. He wanted to be the one to fire Sanji up enough to become the man that he really was… under the doubt and self-loathing.

  
  
He just had to figure out how to do it.

  
  
\---xxx---

  
  
When Sanji finally woke, he jumped out of bed in an instant, muttering.

  
“I have to get to the Sultan, we need to get him to release her…poor Nami-swan!” the blonde mumbled as he rummaged through the tangle of clothes on an overflowing rack and selected something sombre.

  
“There’s nothing you can do,” Zoro said from the bed.

  
Sanji would have sworn that he was snoring just a second ago. Damn Marimo and his freaky cat-napping!

  
“You’re wrong!” Sanji said defiantly, “As soon as I speak to the Sultan we can have her released, he is very generous and sweet Nami-swan was only trying to rescue her village. You don’t understand what she has been through!”

  
 _Sweet?!_ Zoro coughed.

  
Sanji’s stare was piercing – and the swordsman knew all the history and emotions churning behind those clear blue eyes. This wasn’t a time to get into an argument. He wanted to help but he knew how this would unfold if it was rushed.

  
“The Sultan won’t be up for hours. He said he’d deal with it today, if you pester him it will just piss him off,” Zoro said to the canopy of the over-the-top pink bed. He thought Sanji may still be listening but he wasn’t particularly hopeful.

  
“I don’t care if I piss him off, Nami is being held prisoner! How can you lay there all blasé as if nothing is happening? At least have the decency to act like you care, you said you were going to join a crew with her!”

  
“With her? I don’t think that was rea..” Zoro trailed off, cut off by the ice in Sanji’s trademark shut-the-fuck-up-or-I-hurt-you-now glare.

  
“We have to rescue her!” Sanji shouted, throwing clothes at Zoro’s head.

  
The swordsman caught them and begrudgingly put them on; he was hoping to have just a little more time alone with Sanji before all hell broke loose – but it was not to be. Stupid woman had to go and get herself caught.

  
“Ok. Ok,” Zoro huffed and got to his feet and then belatedly wrapped himself in some sheets, “So what am I doing this time?”

  
Sanji turned back to face him, “That’s the most sensitive thing that you’ve said all week.”

  
Zoro rolled his eyes, “I’m getting mixed messages Sanji, your body says touch me but your mouth says kick the crap outta me,” he raised one provocative eyebrow.

  
“Yeah, yeah, moss-for-brains, just hurry up and get dressed,” Sanji replied, flushing just a little at the sight of Zoro half naked, much to the swordsman’s glee.

  
\---xxx---

  
Nami lay in one of the most elaborate rooms in the palace and enjoyed the view. Butterflies drifted through the one open window, seduced by the explosion of colour. Even from the bed the combination of mirrors and stained glass windows enabled you to see the garden in all its glory. Prisms of light and the colours of the stained glass added to the glittering, sparkling effect, making an all-white room dance with a breath of life.

  
Nami brushed an errant strand of hair from her face, where it was tickling her nose. The movement caused the sleeping figure beside her to stir and Robin turned over, her face slightly puffy from sleep. Even when she woke, Robin was gorgeous. Her long lashes caressed her cheeks and her lips were turned in that Mona Lisa smile. Her firm curves pressed against the navigator under the covers; the feeling of a soft breast and a warm thigh here and there did not help Nami to focus one tiny bit…

  
“Good morning, angel,” the older woman said.

  
Despite Nami’s house arrest, supposedly locked in her room, Robin had managed to smuggle her out. The navigator was pleased at the offer, anything to get one up on the Sultan, but more than that – she was happy to see Robin’s face when she came to the door. Robin had a soothing, sexy presence that was hard to fight. Nami let herself be reassured by her words and her soft, cool hands on her brow.

  
Her tenderness had caught Nami by surprise.

  
Normally, she hated being surprised.

  
At the beginning of all this, she came to Robin to get an advantage, a lead, a way into the palace and through it, the prize. She knew that in this way, her plan had worked. Even now, she knew that Robin had already spoken with the Sultan about Nami’s ‘predicament’. When Robin came to fetch her last night… the way that the raven-haired woman cleared the room in three strides to cup her chin and kiss her twice – it was confident. Nami was hopeful that meant that the talk had gone well… but there was so much more than that.

  
She had started out simply attracted to Robin, her cool smile, the assured and sensual swagger of her hips… but from that she had become… attached. Not with the bonds of some serious, unfathomable love, but with the small ties of comfort and friendship that can come so softly that you never notice them until you are already captured utterly.

  
Robin kissed her forehead and told her about the oceans that she would map, the treasures that she would find. She was warm and tender, gentle in her way but also cold, clear, logical. Nami knew that she would never act out of pure pity and for that she was glad.

  
She let herself get lost in Robin’s soft flesh, the gentle caress of her fingers, the whisper of her sweet breath… forgetting everything except a taste as sweet as honey and a soft moaning that would probably give her wet dreams for weeks.

  
\---xxx---

  
Sanji walked into the large banquet hall, all of the tables had been removed and the festive banners of the night before were long gone. His cheeks flushed with indignity as he saw Nami and realised that she had a guard with her. As if anyone needed protection from his precious flower!

  
“Come forward, Nami,” a courtier boomed into the sudden hush.

  
Nami stepped forward boldly. She nodded her head in a bow but remained standing, defiant.

  
The Sultan rose to speak to the assembled guests and a ripple of uncertainty stirred the crowd. Sanji was suddenly so tense he thought all his joints would pop. He was ready to leap to her defence the second she needed him.

  
_Hurry up with the announcement already!!!_

  
“Nami, you have broken the laws of this country and betrayed my trust. I let you into my house and you took advantage of my, and my people’s, good faith.”

  
Nami cringed a little and Sanji’s heart went out to her. She just wanted to do the right thing, it was unfair to punish her! He started to stand, but before he could stumble forward Luffy’s voice pierced the silence,

  
“Dad…” he whined.

  
“BUT!” the Sultan bellowed, cutting Luffy off, “my son has made a plea in your favour. He has told me that you are fair and brave and true, that you fight and steal to save your people. Is this true?”

  
Nami nodded, dumbstruck.

  
The Sultan peered into her face from across that wide ceremonial room, all the weight of a dynasty behind him. He made his “old man who is serious about the future” face and turned to his son. His one remaining child, to guide and protect for better or worse.

  
“You, Luffy, I want you to become like this woman. To be fair and brave and true. I know that you want to travel the seas and I give you my blessing..” Luffy began to hyperventilate and leap about uncontrollably, “..PROVIDED you keep my dear sweet wife Robin and any companions she chooses safe and bring them all back to me when your adventures are done.”

  
“SUGOI!!!” Luffy cried out, beaming and bouncing through the crowded hall bowling over messengers and nobles galore. “I’m going to go to sea!”

  
“Luffy, take good care of her,” the Sultan said, turning to Robin who sat at his right hand side, impassive and immune to his praise, “She’s a very special woman.”

  
“And you Robin my caramel-book-bunny, please take care of my son, he is… _distracted_ … and may need some guidance.”

  
Robin leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered her reply, “I will try to keep him from being killed too young my lord.”

  
The Sultan cringed and kissed his wife goodbye, he would miss her and Luffy very much but he knew now, at last, that he was doing the right thing.

  
“And you, Zoro,” the Sultan said, nodding his gilded head in a very confiding manner, “you _take care_ of Luffy, yes? You know? _Yes?_ ”

  
Zoro cringed and turned slightly pink and the Sultan nodded serenely, the swordsman understood. Luffy would find the right woman. Or man. Or non-binary person. Or _something_ …

  
Once the Sultan had finished making the arrangements for the voyage he turned to Nami to receive what he expected to be her enthusiastic gratitude …but for some reason, she looked a bit flat.

  
“Are you alright Nami-san? You seem a bit… deflated.”

  
“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s so lovely that you are being so generous, Your Majesty but I was all prepared for a big exit.”

  
“Dare I ask?” The Sultan smiled.

  
“It wouldn’t hurt anyone…” Nami said slowly.

  
Not _really._

  
“Oh…” The Sultan grinned at the canny girl, “…go on then.”

  
Nami squealed with excitement and shouted at Luffy across the room. “Luffy, do you see the cord tied around that marble pillar? Untie it and pull the cord.”

  
Once he had finally found the right pillar, Luffy enthusiastically complied and a hushed silence descended as everyone waited.

  
With a muffled boom, a cloud of smoke erupted into the centre of the room, spreading quickly to engulf the entire hall.

  
“This way!” Nami’s voice called out in the swirling fog.

  
Luffy reached in and grabbed Robin, the others followed the retreating thief as she ran along the corridors shocking guards left and right with bolts of lightning. Sanji cackled with glee and followed.

  
_That's my Nami-swan!!!_

  
As they ran out into the courtyard, a series of sharp cracks echoed through the palace and the sky erupted with flashes, booms and puffs of smoke. Luffy paused, concerned and distracted by the noise and the lights.

  
“I set off the fireworks display for next week!” Nami called back.

  
“Nami-swan is the best!” Sanji called out.

  
The navigator whistled sharply and ran to the closest gateway. By the time Luffy had arrived (Zoro scruffed Luffy who was wandering off and then Sanji scruffed Zoro who was going the wrong way), Nami had two horses laden with saddlebags of palace goods at the gate.

  
“What’s all that?” Luffy asked.

  
“A parting gift from the Sultan,” Nami said, trying to hide her smirk. Robin laughed and shook her head. She had dobbed the navigator in, of course, and received the Sultan’s blessing, as she always knew that she would.

  
“Awesome! Treasure!” Luffy shouted, bounding ahead through the gate and out into the open desert. “I have to get some people, wait here!” Before anyone could grab hold of him, Luffy turned and ran off, back towards the living quarters of the palace.

  
 _Fetching Kami-knows-who to join the crew,_ Nami mused, _maybe I shouldn’t have let him go off on his own…_

  
Finally, the straw-hatted lad returned with a man Nami assumed was the Usopp of crossbow fame, a large hulking man with a metal nose and (to her horror) Brook.

  
“Do we really have to take Brook?” Nami asked.

  
“I found him in a bush!” Luffy said enthusiastically, “He’s a musician,” he was nodding his head furiously. Looks like that was a ‘yes’ then.

  
“I was merely checking the security measures around the ladies baths,” Brook commented, “you can never be too careful.”

  
“Is that everyone?” Nami asked, mentally checking people off on her list and ignoring the perverted skeleton.

  
Luffy and Robin were ahead of her and Sanji and Zoro were walking together behind the group, chatting.

  
Nami watched Zoro and Sanji interact; the way they walked together was so easy and free. They laughed, they hit each other and they insulted each other with practiced ease. It was so perfectly symbiotic, quite remarkable really. And hot, very hot. With this going on and Robin’s very handy eye powers, the trip ahead looked like it would be a good one.

  
And, as always, it all went perfectly according to plan.

  
\---xxx---

  
As Zoro walked through the carefully tended grounds for the last time, he felt a pang of regret. A tiny part of him had enjoyed his brief lazy holiday here, training and sleeping in the perfumed gardens. The grass here was still green even during the height of summer and shade allowed the jasmine to bloom and spread its heavenly scent all year around. The fruit trees called to him with their shade and the tiny nooks and crannies of otherworldly bliss that only he knew about beckoned. In a few short weeks he had gone from the cushiest job on the planet to one of the hardest: full-time babysitting Luffy.

  
Given all the things that Luffy had managed to break, injure and/or destroy just within the confines of these secluded and protective walls, well… he hated to think what it would be like out in the world. It would require him to be just as strong as the crazy rubber kid and push his endurance ever further. He could fight and train and once again pit his skills against any person who dared to claim that they were stronger.

  
A butterfly drifted into Zoro’s path and for the last time, he turned and surveyed the gardens. They were bathed in golden sunlight, enhanced to a haze by the tiny motes of floating sand that filled the air. The wind had stirred the sands but now all was calm, the many coloured blossoms steeped in gold and nodding in the last trace of a breeze. It was soothing, tranquil… _boring._

  
Very boring.

  
He followed the sounds of Luffy whooping in joy and ran towards the gate: the only thing that barred him from the rolling sands and his new life.

  
 _Their_ new life.

  
\---xxx---

  
Luffy looked out over the sea of sand and longed for the ocean. With every week, he would get better, with every day, he would get stronger and with every single step he would get closer - to the man who had always been in his heart, the man who had given him his goal, his passion, his dream… and his arm.

His childhood friend and mentor.

  
_Shanks._

  
They would meet again.

  
And when they did, he would be the Pirate King.

  
\---xxx---

  
As Sanji walked across the sands, he felt like he was wandering in a dream… his feet were light, tripping and stumbling – and his head was full of fuzz. He couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off his face… in a moment of introspection Sanji wondered if he had hit his head but… No. This was different…

  
Sanji stumbled again and stopped, giddy with the sight of the blue sky, endless and beckoning.

  
“Sanji, are you alright?” Nami asked, ever observant.

  
“I…” Sanji thought about how he felt, what to say… he felt…

  
Like the beginning.

  
Like pure potential.

  
He could do anything.

  
He could find All Blue.

  
He was strong.

  
He was free.

  
He was _ready._

  
The cook clicked his heels and ran to the top of the nearest sand dune, he called to the void of the heavens,

  
“I’m ready!!!”

  
Luffy laughed and ran to his side shouting to all the world that he was hungry.

  
Zoro shook his head and tut-tutted.

  
_Baka cook._

  
A warm weight filled his chest and squeezed.

  
_Hope? Pride? ...love? No!  
_

_  
Maybe._

  
He told himself that it didn’t matter.

  
He was ready to start a new adventure, cook or no cook.

  
 _Although_ with _hot sex would probably be better..._

  
“Fuck you, Zoro!” Sanji called from atop his dune, either randomly or through psychic powers.

  
_Asshole._

  
Zoro laughed.

  
_Well, I wanted the real Sanji._

  
“I bet I can beat you to the harbour,” Sanji called, striking a perfect roadrunner pose.

  
Zoro arched one eyebrow and took off.

  
“Cheat!!!”

  
But Sanji’s protests were lost on deaf ears as Zoro ran blindly into the desert, grinning like an idiot as he went.

  
\---xxx---


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the madness peeps - thanks for coming along for the ride! <3

\---xxx---

  
_Two Weeks Later_  
  
  
Zoro leaned on the rail and watched the waves roll gently along. The moon slipped in and out of view, hidden then revealed by a modest cloak of clouds. The tang of salt hung in the night air… it wasn’t the same as the scent of jasmine but Zoro was thinking he could even come to prefer it, in time.

  
Their fight with the fishmen, and that ASSHOLE Arlong, had been fierce and satisfying. It had confirmed what he knew deep in his heart all along, Luffy was strong… stronger than anyone he’d ever met. He shook his head gently as he marvelled at how fate had somehow managed to put him exactly where he needed to be, yet again.

  
_Lucky._

  
He felt a presence near him. Someone was standing in the shadow of the galley. No prizes for guessing who. There was only one person who liked to creep about staring at him in the night. Zoro made sure his face was turned away and smiled. Since they had been at sea, Sanji was different. He was rageful and snarky, same as always but more than that… he was confident. He’d fought beside Zoro to defend Nami but after that, he seemed to change toward her. The desperate neediness was gone, replaced by a deep satisfaction that seemed to radiate from his core. He had saved her. Just like he said he would.

  
He had proven himself.

  
His new confidence made him harder to handle but Zoro liked the challenge.

  
The scratch of a match announced that Sanji had decided to come out of hiding. Zoro turned and ‘noticed’ his presence.

  
“Moss head,” Sanji said, joining him at the rail and looking out across the deep blue.

  
“Shit cook,” Zoro replied.

  
Sanji took a breath and it caught just a little in his chest, “Zoro…”

  
Zoro’s senses tingled; Sanji never, ever just said his name.

  
“Am I in trouble?” Zoro asked, as much to diffuse the tension as anything.

  
“No,” Sanji laughed, “I… I never thanked you for what you did for me…”

  
“No, no you didn’t.” Zoro knew he should make it easy but teasing Sanji was almost automatic.

  
“Well, I’m not going to!” Sanji stomped, blowing smoke into the night.

  
“Ok then. Good talk,” Zoro smirked.

  
Sanji drew deep and then blew smoke out his nostrils. Zoro could feel him silently fuming. A man of as many moods as the night had stars. Perhaps now was not the time for games after all.

  
Zoro turned to face him, “It was my pleasure. I think I needed a kick up the ass anyway.”

  
Sanji gaped, cigarette hanging from his lips.

  
Finally, he found some words, “You always need a kick up the ass.”

  
“That so?” Zoro mused.

  
The wind ruffled Sanji’s corn silk hair and he put his cigarette out. Zoro suppressed the now near-permanent urge to just grab the blonde and crush him to his chest. At least his self-control was getting better. Perhaps meeting Sanji was good for his training too, in a way.

  
“Zoro…”

  
_Twice now._

  
“Are you _sure_ I’m not in trouble?”

  
“Ugh! No! Just shut up ok,” Sanji snapped.

  
Zoro looked at him, bemused but silent.

  
“I… know that I’m not always the easiest person to get along with. I’ve had a pretty shitty life and sometimes it’s hard to remember that not everyone is out to get me.”

  
Zoro nodded in what he hoped was an encouraging way.

  
Sanji continued, “It was a big deal for me. No one has ever really… gone out their way for me like that before.”

  
Zoro let the words hang in the air. He liked the sound of Sanji’s voice. He liked everything about him. _Damnit._

  
“Che,” he said, about to say that it was nothing… but something stopped him. “It was a big deal for me too,” he said, not even sure what he meant. Just everything, really. Everything about Sanji was kind of a big deal to him. It was weird. Uncomfortable but comforting. Contradictory, just like a certain someone.

  
“Zoro…”

_Third time.  
_

  
Zoro’s heart did a little flip.

  
“…I… can we… would you…”

  
“Yes,” Zoro said.

  
“I haven’t even asked you yet!”

  
“Yes,” Zoro said again.

  
“I could have said anything! I could have asked you if you like frilly knickers!”

  
“I do li..”

  
“SHUT UP YOU MOSSY BASTARD!”

  
Zoro indicated that his lips were sealed.

  
“Are you trying to stop me?” Sanji asked softly.

  
Zoro shook his head frantically.

  
“If you don’t want to hear it…”

  
Zoro shook his head so hard he got a little dizzy.

  
“Stop it, Marimo, you look stupid.”

  
“I…” Zoro started carefully, waiting to see if Sanji would stop him. When Sanji leaned closer, he continued, “I just know that whatever you want from me, the answer is yes. I didn’t want to waste the time.”

  
“Will you go out with me?” Sanji said, his voice barely a whisper.

  
_What is this? High School?_

  
“Of course,” Zoro laughed.

  
“Why are you laughing? I’m pouring my heart out here!” Sanji growled.

  
“It’s just you… I love you. I love everything about you. You’re an idiot and you’re perfect.”

  
“I… don’t really know what to say to that…”

  
“Words are overrated,” said Zoro, as he gave in to the urge at last. Holding Sanji to his chest he felt at home in a way he hadn’t for years.

  
_This is going to be a hell of an adventure._

  
He felt his shirt dampen and lifted Sanji’s chin. Tears rolled silently down his face.

  
“Come on, Love-cook. It’s not that bad.”

  
“Fuck you,” Sanji snuffled.

  
Zoro just pulled him back into the embrace.

  
“I love you too,” Sanji whispered.

And for once it was fine that he had the last word. In fact, Zoro felt he might be happy if neither of them ever spoke again.

\---xxx---


End file.
